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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2 |
“It’s not easy to laugh,” he said brightly,
“So I practice it just about nightly.
I bring my boat dockside,
Breathe nitrogen oxide.
Here, try some!” he offered politely.
AMBIENT - APERTURE
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6 |
One aperture may not suffice
To empty a can in a trice.
If the ambient air
Keeps the liquid in there,
The can must be pierced at least twice.
MERMAID - METHOD
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6 |
A mermaid can swim like a fish;
Her tail makes a powerful swish.
But her method of movement
Is quite an improvement -
Her arms can be flexed at her wish.
MARGRAVE - MARZIPAN
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2 |
A female Margrave (and Dutchess)
Sought post-prandial sweets to eat, such as
Some chocolate brandy
Or marzipan candy.
You're Danish? Stay out of her clutches!
POINTLESS - PORCELAIN
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6 |
That is to say, a Margravine... And here's one I did earlier today:A margrave declared to a lackey: I'll eat something novel and snacky". "This marzipan, Sire, Is what you require", Said the cook; "it's exotic and wacky".
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2 |
Quite similar in spirit, aren't they.
A (very) brief peek via Google reveals that the post of Margrave was generally
restricted to males. Ah well - chalk it up to Authors' License.
And I didn't realize until after posting that the rhyme was inspired by G&S -
"...In short, if you'd kindle/The spark of a swindle..." from Gondoliers.
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6 |
POINTLESS - PORCELAIN
A well-known antiques connoisseur
Remarked with an expert's hauteur:
"Your porcelain bowl
Has this pointless small hole -
A quirk that was once de rigueur".
DRAINED - DRIFTED
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6 |
A few hundred yards still remained,
And both sets of oarsmen felt drained.
They drifted so wide
They were disqualified.
"Void race!" cried the ref, looking pained.
EDIFY - EFFUSIVE
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,245 Likes: 6 |
If you're eager to edify sinners
Or people who beg for hot dinners,
Be warm and effusive -
Say "Joy is elusive,
But Jesus loves losers, not winners".
ROGUISH - ROOF
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,710 Likes: 2 |
If you wish in this world to advance
Your merits you're bound to enhance
You must stir it and stump it
And blow your own trumpet
Or trust me you haven't a chance!
(--You-know-who)
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