>But, if you will take note
I have pen and paper ready, what's Cincinnati like anyway?

BOT, this is a letter I read at the Flummery Digest which BTW has a lot of humourous, leftfield items from the news (hope it's not too long)

District of Columbia Public Schools
Office of the General Counsel
Labor Management and Employee Relations
November 16, 2000

Dear Ms. [name withheld]:

On June 23, 2000, you were informed by letter that you would not receive an offer of employment with the District of Columbia Public Schools (DCPS) based on the results of your criminal background check. Based on your subsequent presentation of documentation that your 1984 charge for Uniformed Controlled Substance Act, Cannabis was no papered; that your 1984 charge for shoplifting was nolle prosequi; that your 1984 charge for assault with a dangerous weapon, razor was no papered; that your 1984 charge for destruction of government property was nolle prosequi; that your 1986 charge for assault with a deadly weapon was dismissed; that your 1987 charge for soliciting for prostitution was nolle prosequi; that your 1989 charge for assault with a dangerous weapon, razor was no papered; and that your 1992 Uniform Controlled Substance Act, possession with intent to distribute cocaine was dismissed. You are eligible for employment with DCPS.
If you have any questions or concerns, kindly contact Labor Management and Employee Relations at (202) 442-5373.

Sincerely,

Delores Hamilton
Acting Director of Human Resources