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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Aaaaaargh! No more! What excruciating pain! I promise faithfully to tell you all about NZ's defence policy (there is none) and trade strategy (20 years behind the times), if only you'll stop! Is there no death penalty in Michigan? Are there no laws outlawing bad poesy in the first degree? Why didn't someone just take her pen away? Oh, that's right, there are no effective laws against carrying lethal weapons in the States, are there. Damn, there OUGHT to be. [heavy relief breathing -e] Did she, by any chance, write most of the hymns sung in churches throughout the world under various pen names? I've got a contract out on them, too ... 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
Observations Regarding Potentially Maladaptive Behavior in Rana Pipiens, with Possible Impli- cations for Other Species I went to the pond, (the hour was late) And witnessed a bullfrog (he was wooing his mate.) There he was on her back, (they were swimming around) She, beast of burden, sought more solid ground. He filled the bag on his throat, (then he let out a croak) Wrapped his forelegs around her (I thought she might choke!) With him on her back, and her on the bottom, Too burdened was she, and a blue heron got 'em. So a warning to bullfrogs, (lest you act antithetical) Be kind to your mate when you act ([parent]hetical) There - that's the worst I can come up with without help. 
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
Is there no death penalty in Michigan?
No. Which explains a lot.
And Geoff, I confess that I like your bullfrog poem. You'll have to do much worse than that.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
Geoff, I confess that I like your bullfrog poem. You'll have to do much worse than that.
Oh, NOOOOO! You mean, I'm,....I'm merely insipid, and not maudlin? Aaaarrrgghhhhh!
Well, in recompense, here's a "good" bad one from Ogden Nash: (Wasn't an Ogden Nash an old car bought in Utah?)
Of all the fishes in the seas
The funniest is the bass.
He climbs up on tall seaweed trees,
And slides down on his
Hands and knees.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Okay--Geoff, I bet you can't come up with one THIS bad!
Geoff as a young man, for gain
Gave up flying, and he did deign
To start a rock band,
And with no name to hand,
They were known as Geoffers'own Airplane.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 53
journeyman
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journeyman
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 53 |
Bear in There
There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.
-Shel Silverstein
One of my favorite silly poets!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,156 |
Yes, squid, I love Shel Silverstein. We had to do a poetry project in grade 7, basically collecing poems that we liked, and I did all silly poems and limericks, and there was at least one Shel Silverstein book which figured prominently as a source. And actually, my favourite story book is probably The Giving Tree, which is very un-silly but a great book.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
And actually, my favourite story book is probably The Giving Tree, which is very un-silly but a great book.And what about The Missing Piece? Another good one!  I can see, Bean, that you've got "a light in (your) attic," and, being a bit adventurous, you must like to stroll "where the sidewalk ends!"
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 38
newbie
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newbie
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 38 |
Back to last words again,there once was a military man(im not sure of the name or rank)who spoke his last words in a battle when the enemy was continually missing his troops:
"They couldn't shoot an elephant from this dist-"
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 218
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 218 |
In 1864, Gen. Sedgwick, USA's famous last words were "Those boys can't hit an elephant from this distance." More about Sedgwick from http://members.esslink.com/~channy/sedgwick.html: "General John Sedgewick (son of General John Sedgewick I, who fought with distinction in the War of the Revolution) was one of the top commanders of the Union Army during the Civil War and according to many of his admirers should have been named Commander-in-Chief. A graduate of West Point, a veteran of Indian Wars in the West and campaigns in Mexico, General Sedgewick performed heroic services at Bull Run, Antietam, and Gettysburg, but his troops, unfortunately, took extremely heavy losses. At Antietam, the General himself had two horses shot out from under him and was carried unconscious from the field of battle with three grievous wounds from which he was long in recovering. In the disasterous Chancellorsville Campaign he managed to save most of his troops, whom he led later in forced march to Gettysburg, where his timely arrival and brilliant strategy turned the tide of the Battle. At Spottsylvania, where he was boldly exposing himself to snipers while directing the artillery fire, reassuring the men that confederate sharpshooters could not hit an elephant at that distance, he was shot dead on the spot."
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