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There is no confection more tasty
Than a beautiful bowlful of Hasty
Pudding with fruit
And nutmeg to suit:
It certainly beats soggy pastry!
WEIGHT - WELFARE
Last edited by Rhubarb Commando; 12/18/2012 3:45 PM.
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To speak English write, right it instead We say "die" they hear "dye" or "Lady Di" "weight is pronounced "wait" "wait" is pronounced "weight" Now I must say farewell, welfare, or good-bye  GRABEN - GRAND MARCH
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The walls of the graben were steep
And the floor of the trench was so deep.
With their breath in short pante
The Grand March of the ants
Up the side of the gutter did creep.
DISCLAIMER - DISCREET
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For that one, Rhubert, I appoint you... Grand Marshall of the Grand March of the Ants.  Hurrah!
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Do I kneel before you to accept it? 
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Yes, if you can't kowtow, kneel. I would like that, I've never seen a lowly ant kneel.
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Carpal Tunnel
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----please, draw me a sheep----
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You have an Aunt called Neil?
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Neil, Nell, Knoll, her mind ain't too good, she don't even know.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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I sit in my missle silo retreat Got plenty ammo and lots to eat On my container Is a disclaimer [If the world doesn't end please be discreet]  MAYAN - MEALYBUG
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Very topical, jj! 
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And I just pinched myself to make sure I am still here
as well. Good, JJ.
HAPPY WINTER ALL.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Once that Mayan had found the last date,
Cakes were ordered to celebrate.
But the feast turned quite sour
When they found that the flour
By mealy-bugs had been all ate!
SPRINGAL - SPURT
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Good, Rhub, but mealy-bugs: yuk! What a thought.
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What ever happened to all that stuff on the right side of
the screen (new members and all that)? Or is it just
my computer? Is there a way to get it back, tho' all the
new members seem to be doing is advertising Nike and
Kitchens.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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The "Information" thread informs us that the site has been re-formatted, which, I assume, has included this. I rather miss the member information on the right-hand side. I liked to see whether I was ahead or behind you, Luke, in the "Top Posters" league
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I see, as I just went there, upon reading this post from you.
I got into trouble in the past for being the top poster
as if I was in some sort of competition, and I won't miss
it any more, because I don't need the non-constructive
criticism. But thanks, I was just hoping it was not
my computer. I barely looked at it anyway, just glad it
is not on my side. Thank for the response.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Ok, since the machine stopped counting, I will. Starting at the Mayan new age midnight I find that I am the top poster with seven. Rhuby is a distant second with just three. Luke, I calculate only one for you but since it is hard to calculate only a single posting I didn't score you. So; anytime you guys want the current rankings just ask me.
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Gee --- thanks a bunch, jj 
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Gosh thank JJ.
I don't think I'll be checking in too very often, however, and
hope that does not upset you. It was another poster who
got aggravated for reasons I still don't understand and no
longer care about. Some things upset just about everybody.
But Rhuby if you want to beat me in the count: just go ahead
and try!! Naw, I just rethought that: It will just get
the same response.
Seriously I was just thinking it was my computer, and am
glad to see it was a revision of the administration.
And, I am really glad to see we are all still here after
the Mayan Apocalypse, except, of course, for the Maya
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 12/22/2012 6:06 PM.
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This thing was never about competition. Who cares about numbers? The sideline is there just for who's there to have some fun with and who's there to bring on something interesting.
I leave it for what it is. I really tried. Sorry. Interprete it the way suits you best. I did try to help. But sure this will be classified as arrogance.
Merry Christmas to you all.
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Help? Why fix what was not broken?
Not everyone sees things the way you do...did you make others
make their signature smaller, or just me? Others have been
the last poster on every single thread in he forums...did
you castigate them, or just me? You really seem hung up
on arrogance...which is arroganct in appearance.
Merry Christmas to you too, do you really believe in it
or just December holidays?
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Of course it isn't a competition! Both Luke and I are well aware of that and my post was just my usual misplaced sense of ridiculous fun. The reason I'm so often at the top is because I don't get out much. Maybe I ought to get a life, somewhere? jj obvously sshares our sense of ridiculousness and eggs us on (as if that were necessary !!!) We're all on this thread to have fun and I love it as, I think everyone else does. In that spirit, a Merry Christmas to all of you, each and every one! I raise my glass and toast you - "Bingle Jells!" (hic)
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SPRINGAL - SPURT
With a spurt of brash a springal interupts the discourse -
"Now that sex no longer drives you, do you feel remorse?"
Tho' the question's sarcastic
Plato's answer is Socratic -
"How does firm ground feel after you dismount a bucking horse?"
WEIRD - WHATEVER
Last edited by jenny jenny; 12/23/2012 5:34 PM.
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jj's Limericks are sometimes as weird
As Santa Claus without (his)(her) beard!
But they're usually jolly
As Christmastide holly
So, whatever they are, they get cheered!
CAULIFLOWER - CAVITY
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I shouda never offered up that word "weird". But remember, RC Cola, weirdos think of your weird as their normal.  Merry Christmas
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I sat here and ate by the hour:
Bags of chips, pizza, nuts I'd devour.
As I filled up my cavity,
Eventually gravity
Made me give up junk for cauliflower.
MARKING – MARSHMALLOW
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Our house was an ark in a low marsh in a deep hollow Ma, Mark, Al, me; all kin but one unidentified fellow Ma didn't allow us to go to the mallThat's good 'cause there weren't no malls Marking Christmas we'd split a Mars bar and a Marshmallow. CHORUS - CHRISTMAS
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Poor People ( and I want credit for underlining)
Hear! Hear!
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Poor People ( and I want credit for underlining)
Hear! Hear! Thanks Luke, I had to leave out a couple or good words that can be read in MARKING - MARSHMALLOW but "Art over Smart" I always say. [ . I lie, Luke. I've never in my life said "Art over Smart" in my entire life until today ]
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I read and thoroughly enjoy all the limericks you people
create. I am very envious. I can come up with some
pretty lame ones, but by the time I do, you all are 3-4
limericks beyond. No problem, however, I do enjoy reading
others works and revel in the works. Keep up the good
work. {to use the word 'work' three times: shows my
creativity}
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 12/25/2012 2:27 AM.
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That was really clever, jj! A lovely Christmas present on Christmas day - Thank You! - and for all the other quirky rhymes you produce.
I guess all of us regulars on this thread enjoy the inventiveness of the others, Luke. There really are some cracking good ones from time to time. If you are working on one and need time to perfect it, put a post in that one's imminent and we'll wait for you for a few minutes - or hours, even. Or you could post it, anyway, even after you've been pipped to the post - we've all done that, occasionally.
CHORUS – CHRISTMAS
Before we all get quite as p****d as
A newt, or by baubles dedazz-
-led, let’s do this for us:
We’ll all shout, in chorus,
To All on Wordsmith, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HAPPY - HARBOUR
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Thanks Rhub.
I'll keep that in mind, or just make a note that I am
working on one, and you all can just go on around me -
I don't mind, as golfers do, let others cut through.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Pooh-Bah
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In Porto Alegre, Brazil
(Which means Happy Harbour) lived Bill;
He was never at ease
When he spoke Portuguese –
He relied on his buddy called Gil.
SHANK – SHARP
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He fell over a skate, hit his shank.
In a couple of days, how it stank!
Suddenly, with pain sharp–
He acquired a harp.
Now he sings with the angels: how swank.
LLAMA – LOCAL
I agree with the Rhub: if you write one, post it. Who cares if you're not in with it first?
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OK.
You guys are the greatest.
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Llama, llama, yellowhammer Give 'em Hell, Alabama Notre, Notre Dame Notre, Notre Damn Llama, llama, yellowhammer Give 'em Hell, Alabama Uh...let me explain. The yellowhammer is Alabama's state bird and the llama is a, uh, camel like creature without a hump. Please excuse me  I just wanted a chance to chant this chant. Roll Tide Roll
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Llama, llama, willow ptarmigan.
Blasted snow covered up my farmagain.
I love living in Alaska,
'Cept in wintertime disaska.
Let ME explain: The willow ptarmigan is Alaska's state bird, and all the lovely snow we got in the last two days is going to get rained on tomorrow, then it'll freeze, then rain again. If I didn't love it here, I'd probably hate it.
Sure thing, jj, go ahead. I don't mind!
Last edited by Tromboniator; 12/26/2012 7:28 AM.
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Thanks, jj and Peter, for giving me inspiration! Partisanship of a local kind Brings all sorts of rituals to mind. With llamas or birds, And inflamat'ry words These chants us together do bind. VETINARY - VICE ** see three posts below!!
Last edited by Rhubarb Commando; 12/26/2012 6:28 PM.
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