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Pooh-Bah
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Cheap airplane flights draw much complaint;
They'd test the sangfroid of a saint.
The conduct is rowdy,
The crew girls are dowdy,
And adequate legroom there ain't.
INVERSION – INVITE
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Excellent, AC. And ain't it the truth. 
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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The only thing you forgot in this most excellent
limerick are the screaming babies.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Dare to invite a healthy inversion,
Supplanting love for hate or pervsion,
And let goodness un-mask us
Like Paul in Damascus
And behold the world after conversion.
NATION -- NOUGHT
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...but don't mess with Mister In-between.  Good one, Alex. But is it not better to accentuate objective reality. Now our Nation knows nought but inversion Now hate is love and love is subversion Our Atheists invite Our Christians to fight Freedom turned left for a four year excursion GESTALT - GESTAPO
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Pooh-Bah
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The codeword 'Gestalt' (meaning 'form')
Was used for a time as the norm
By a group of free-thinkers
And liberal drinkers
Whose homes the Gestapo would storm.
ATMOSPHERE – ATRIUM
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Pooh-Bah
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My dear, 'radium' does rhyme with 'stadium'
And they both rhyme quite well with 'palladium'
But I'm afraid I must clear
Up the stale atmosphere
And point out that they slant rhyme with 'atrium'
DAUGHTER -- DIMWITTED
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Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her father forty whacks
When she saw what she had done she gave her mother forty-oneMister Borden you had a lovely daughter You shoulda treated her better, yes you oughter She is not dimwitted What she is, is acquitted Liz stole your severed head; no head no manslaughter  GODIVA - GOAT
Last edited by jenny jenny; 11/14/2012 2:36 AM.
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Pooh-Bah
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LOL jenny jenny....where do you get your ideas
and is that a point of law
"no head no manslaughter" charge?
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LOL jenny jenny....where do you get your ideas
and is that a point of law
"no head no manslaughter" charge?
It's Alex Williams fault, Candy. "Daughter" brought to mind a silly English song of the sixties, "Misses Brown you've got a lovely daughter" coupled with a stupid street chant... "For a dollar I'll holler
for a half I'll laugh,
and for a quarter
I'll do what I oughter". No, "no head no manslaughter" is not a point of law. In fact the heads of Andrew Jackson Borden and his wife were cut off during an autopsy because of evidence that the entire family was poisoned before the murdering. After the trial the two heads came up missing and have never been found. 
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old hand
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The truth about Lady Godiva:
She slicked down her hair with saliva;
She threw off her coat,
Saddled up her best goat,
Then she took on Tom Peep for a fiva.
CODEX - COGNIZANT
Last edited by Tromboniator; 11/15/2012 10:43 PM.
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That last line. I stood up and shouted a laugh and I've never shouted a laugh before now. Thanks, Tromboniator.
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old hand
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You're welcome, jj. I had nearly the same reaction when I thought of it.
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Pooh-Bah
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"I am cognizant", said the librarian,
A distinguished and wise antiquarian,
"Of the fact that this tome –
An old codex from Rome –
Was defaced by a Gaulish barbarian".
GROAT – GROTESQUE
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Wonderful, yes, but strange. What are the odds that a Podunk village like London would have two great limerick masters? I'm not saying that Rhubarb Commando is A C Bowden and vice versa. I'm just saying...  Ever see then on the same stage at the same time?
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Pooh-Bah
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My mum once went to a very snobby airforce ball dressed....or should that be 'undressed'! as Lady Godiva, Peter. She wore a flesh coloured swimsuit and a long blonde wig. She even rode in on a real horse. She got a standing ovation.
Loved both of your limericks and AC, yours reminded me of the Asterix stories I enjoyed.
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Pooh-Bah
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PS...you got me thinking now jenny jenny. I havent seen them both at the same time....and they are the yin and yang of each other.
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I rarely see Rhuby in London (though, in truth, I've never been there), but "great limerick master" is certainly fitting. Candy – you're right, I've never seen the two together, either. Makes you wonder.
Last edited by Tromboniator; 11/18/2012 1:22 AM.
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Carpal Tunnel
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I never ran across either of them when I was in London, of
course the pubs I was in there was singing not limerick
composing.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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...intermission GROAT - GROTESQUE A grotesque gap in the stern is sinking my boat Home Depot sale's on grout might keep my boat afloat I don't wanna But I'm gonna Get some grout to grout the gap for less than a groat  OCCULT - ODDBALL
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Pooh-Bah
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It's always unwise to insult
Practitioners of the occult;
If an oddball white witch
Is called a mad bitch,
A darker-hued spell may result.
PARAPHRASE – PARCHMENT
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Wonderful, yes, but strange. What are the odds that a Podunk village like London would have two great limerick masters? I'm not saying that Rhubarb Commando is A C Bowden and vice versa. I'm just saying... Ever see then on the same stage at the same time? It's only ACB who comes from the podunk village, jj - I come from the up-market, highly civilised city of Lancaster, Lancashire, which is far removed from the stinks and stews of London (removed by better part of 300 good miles!) 
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Carpal Tunnel
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You tell them Rhuby ! ! !
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Yeah, that's what I meant, Rhuby, but I was too polite to say so.
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Carpal Tunnel
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That's true, Rhuby, he is the essence of polite-ness.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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I never ran across either of them when I was in London, of
course the pubs I was in there was singing not limerick
composing. Well, I tended to use the cellars of coffee bars and play washboard in skiffle groups. But, in any case, that was prolly a bit before your time in The Great Wen And you're quite right: la politesse is the leit motif of our exponent of the sackbut (Thinks: Did he play in the Tittipu Town Band?)
Last edited by Rhubarb Commando; 11/25/2012 11:41 PM.
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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The parchment was full of lacunae:
One incomplete phrase really drew me.
It fairly set me ablaze -
I just had to paraphrase –
And the long-dead author can’t sue me!
DOUBLE - DOVE
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Well, I tended to use the cellars of coffee bars and play washboard in skiffle groups. But, in any case, that was prolly a bit before your time in The Great Wen And you're quite right: la politesse is the leit motif of our exponent of the sackbut (Thinks: Did he play in the Tittipu Town Band?) Gee whiz, Commando, intellectual banter such as that is usually overheard only in downtown London. I, a country girl, am impressed. ____________________________________________________________ With every post you post the proof of your immortality is hereby reaffirmed. _____________________________________________
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our exponent of the sackbut (Thinks: Did he play in the Tittipu Town Band?) Actually, yes.
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DOUBLE - DOVE
A visceral relationship have we with the dove
The Heart quickens when white flocks are above
I double dog dare you
To stiffen your sinew
And blast from the sky this tasty bird which we love
KNAVERY - KNOCKOUT
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Pooh-Bah
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The old British commerce in slavery
Was a piece of despicable knavery.
Though many defended it,
Wilberforce ended it,
Dealing the knockout with bravery.
EMERY – EMPEROR
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Two more to celebrate. Well done, AC and jj.
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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The speech was abrasive as emery,
Most obnoxious in anyone's memory.
But it was the new emperor,
Orating extemperor,
Mostly dealing with matters ephemery.
RANKLE – RASPY
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Ha! Beaten to it by a mere Wandering Minstrel! (Whose songs and snatches are actually well worth listening to) For what it's worth (not much) this is what I proposed:- Sartorial Disaster. The Emperor took bad advice The clothes that he wore were "not nice." Crowds had seared on their memory Images rough as emery That they would not wish to see twice.
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RANKLE - RASPY
That her rival displayed a fine ankle
Continued at all times to rankle.
With raspy and rough voice
The Empress spake her choice
And had her confined to a dank cell.
WIND - WINDSOR
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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"It's hard," Edward tried to explain,
"To choose Wallis, or king to remain.
Tell me, how did I wind
Up in this kind of bind?
Shall I be Duke of Windsor or reign?"
LURE – LYING
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Planes named "Gotha" bombed England and krauts were the aggressor
So the "Gotha"s in England changed the name of their predecessor
Yet, the lure of lying is short
And a hundred years will abort
And the winds will blow away the house of cards that's Windsor
SPACEFLIGHT - SPANKING
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I would like a clarification on the rules of Sparteye's Game. The more recent posts have been limericks but according to Jackie's original post on the first page this is not necessary. ("I think Sparteye's the person who had us doing something like this lo these many years ago: take the first and last headwords of an open dictionary, and make a sentence out of them--the weirder the better.") The reason I ask is that, as much as I enjoy writing limericks, I find it damn hard to do so with prescribed words. (And I take off my hat to you guys who are so adept at producing verse in this method.)
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Alex, you are absolutely right. It's just that some of us find the limerick challenge more to our liking, and seem to have dominated the thread for a while. If you go through them all (a daunting task) you'll find that not all the verse is in limerick form, nor is verse required. The primary obligations are to amuse yourself and keep the thread alive.
Peter
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