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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2 |
The time I spent pond'ring "reflection" and "reface" -
There must be a way to work in the word "preface"
...Or maybe Bette Midler
...No, think of a fiddler:
The violin player we call Jascha Heface!
(Actually, I know a guy with that last name who actually pronounces it this way. Although he spells it "Heafitz" instead.)
Old musician's joke:
Overheard at Jascha Heifitz' debut - at age 16 - in a very hot and very-much-un-air-conditioned Carnegie Hall, 1917:
-- violinist Mischa Elman, mopping his brow: "Hot in here, isn't it?"
-- Artur Rubinstein: "Not for pianists!"
(It might even be not true. Many Most versions attribute it to the pianist Leopold Godowski. I've even seen one with Josef Hofmann. But it's more self-explanatory with Rubinstein...)
And where, you say, is "reflection" in all this? Why of course, that's the time I spent pondering.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2 |
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554 |
Here's mine, wofahulicodoc... ACQUITTAL - ADMISSIBLEHe robbed the Widow's Pension Fund he left then very little He burned to ground an orphanage while he played his fiddle Said the Judge, a lawyer too, "He's a lawyer, that's what we do" naturalia non sunt turpia* is admissible, I rule acquittal"  * what is natural is not dirty
Last edited by jenny jenny; 03/15/12 06:08 AM.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
The jury can't vote for acquittal, for
The victim's still in the hospital! Gor!
The evidence admissible
Is patently risible,
Defendant's a clone of A. Hitalor!
OTHERWISE–OUT
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Joined: Nov 2011
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
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I'm housebound - I cannot go out
I just lounge in the house like a lout -
Although my dear Mother, wise,
Urges me otherwise -
I'm suffering badly from the gout!
FREEZER - FRET
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554 |
A chert road in Tuscaloosa is named Shiver de Freezer
On a oak tree at it's end was hung Shiver de freezer
Sheriff Earl paid Shiver a dollar to vote
Shiver being Shiver votes the other bloke
Earl's horse dragged Shiver down to the oak;
Fret no more for Shiver de Freezer
Addendum: I didn't offer the two new game words earlier because this entry wasn't exactly in accord with the spirit of the rules and I hoped one of you would post your own rhyme using FRET and FREEZER. My own offering is a vanity piece because I wanted to encyclical this verbal bit of Tuscaloosa County folklore and/or history.
INLAW - INNUENDO
Last edited by jenny jenny; 03/16/12 05:50 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554 |
Oh my, I guess I'll have to play with myself. My in-law is not my cousin, my ma, my pa, or aunt Not uncle/ nephew/ niece, and certainly not a Saint 'cause, In bed we play Nintendo Which is an innuendo Now tell me who my in-law is; I've told you those who ain't Edit: The answer to this riddle is wife-in-law or husband-in-law whichever reflects your situation. Blood kin are not supposed to marry, even those deep in the mountains of Mississippi.
Last edited by jenny jenny; 03/29/12 01:48 PM.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
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Sorry, jj, I started on it right after you posted, then life got really hectic.
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Joined: Nov 2011
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
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My apols, jj - I didn't pick up on your edit, adding the next words!
Here's my effort
Not just one innuendo about me was cast
But many, indeed they came out thick and fast;
But my trusty old chain saw
Divided my ma in-law
And character slurs were a thing of the past
COUCHETTE - COUNTER
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,554
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jun 2010
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Darn, Rhube, you write so tightly. I am almost ashamed to follow your act...almost. Pulling drawers and tagging toes in a morgue is happiness You meet such intresting people - postmortemly, I confess But I wanted to travel Mysteries to unravel You know, like a couchette counter on the Orient Express. Oh well. 
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