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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
My brother is a Republican.....
Good one jenny jenny and nice to see you back. I hope this is not just a cameo appearance. And Peter...your little rhyme has a taste of The Little Shop of Horrors LOL
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2 |
My brother built a grocery store
To annihilate our mother.
The building was a carnivore,
'T'would eat what it could smother.
He rigged the soap aisle to collapse,
But Mom shopped in another.
A quirk of fate it was, perhaps:
An aisle ate my brother.
edit: Nice work, Jenny. Also nice work, Peter - I was trying to do something along those lines also but couldn't bring it together.
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,933 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,933 Likes: 3 |
Ditto to Wofa, nice work.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,526 |
My brother built a grocery store
To annihilate our mother.
The building was a carnivore,
'T'would eat what it could smother.
He rigged the soap aisle to collapse,
But Mom shopped in another.
A quirk of fate it was, perhaps:
An aisle ate my brother.
This is *really* nice, but the meter in the last line seems off to me. You should send it to Reader's Digest or maybe even New Yorker.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,735 Likes: 2 |
...the meter in the last line seems off to me. It's a regional variation, I suspect. Do you pronounce "aisle" as one syllable (I'LL) or two (EYE-ull) ?
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
For the purposes of the rhythm and the gag it's almost forced to be two syllables (or one syllable two beats long). To my ear the forced nature of it adds to the humor, but maybe that's just me.
I think of the word as one syllable, but it sounds like 1.5 when I say it.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
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old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
As the Bluecoat fell into the tank,
Tossed a rope to us, tied 'round his flank.
We saw his eyes flash
As he hit with a splash,
Crying, "I ain't a Rebel: just Yank!
POSTMORTEM–POTENT
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075 |
Now, that's really clever, Peter!
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075 |
Wild fungi: Lord Algernon sought ‘em;
They led to his early post-mortem
From a fungus most potent, ate
By the great potentate.
Mushrooms are best if you’ve bought ‘em!
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
The wild funghi will agree with you. 
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