We have a Bernese Mountain dog, a huge floofy fellow named Maximum (Max for short). We named him that when we got him because he was at maximum cuteness level and it was impossible to be any cuter. Pretty standard stuff so far, however…

on occasion we revert to calling him poultry, or “the only dog with white meat” as he is the most chicken dog ever. Oh he barks up a good show when someone comes to the door…all deep growls, resonant barks, angry slobbering and bristly hair, but the second the person walks in the door – off he goes to hide under the dining room table. And with a backwards glance as he runs away, you just know he is thinking “take the girl, take the girl, and the jewelry is in the top left hand drawer in the back under the lacy bras.”