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Candy #202026 08/24/2011 12:16 AM
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Carpal Tunnel
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A fine young man from County Clare,
walked through Dublin with quite a flair.
He'd tip his hat to each maid and miss;
behind his back they'd blow a kiss.
He'd dream sweet dreams when back in his lair.



RIFE/RIGHT


----please, draw me a sheep----
LukeJavan8 #202038 08/24/2011 8:58 AM
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The pundits panned opening night,
Said my play to the stage was a blight.
Contumely was rife,
So I queried my wife:
It turns out that the critics were right!

ARM-AROUSE

Tromboniator #202041 08/24/2011 12:01 PM
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Pooh-Bah
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Peter.....I've told you before, you must take your wife's advice. When will you learn!

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The student raised his arm to reply
to the teacher's question, who gave a sigh,
For Little Johnny was in her class,
And she gazed again out the window glass,
to arouse a fear, should she give him a try?



BAIL/BALCONY


----please, draw me a sheep----
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He drove the hot Ford down the trail
To the condo, right next to the jail.
He parked the old Falcon, he
Climbed up to the balcony,
And stole just enough for his bail.

CROW-CRUNCHER

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I'm guessing that Little Johnny's answers would cause fear in most teachers minds....Luke laugh

And great work (again) Peter, ah the irony of crime...a bit like confession LOL.

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Well done, Peter.

Yes, Candy, I've had some like Little Johnny.


----please, draw me a sheep----
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The crow flew to the feeder to eat,
Hanging on dearly, big bird, little feet.
He hoped to make this his midmorning luncher,
sunflower, salflower, millet, barley cruncher.
Surprised him, I did, I'd filled it with wheat.



KNELL/KNOW


----please, draw me a sheep----
LukeJavan8 #202157 08/29/2011 8:31 AM
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We were glad when we heard that small bell,
'Cause it signaled his fall into hell.
Broke his neck, you must know,
When she wrung it, just so:
Our delectable belle, Little Knell.

BLUE-BLUFF

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Carpal Tunnel
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Chuckle, chuckle.


----please, draw me a sheep----
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Carpal Tunnel
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There was a young lad named Little Boy Blue,
horn in his hand, to the haystack he flew.
The townsfolk knew his songs were just fluff,
Variations on one theme, it was all just a bluff.
Worn out from his efforts sleep came fast too.



HALL/HAMMER

Last edited by LukeJavan8; 08/31/2011 2:09 AM.

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I pick up my rule book and hammer,
Make my way to the linguistic slammer.
As I walk down the hall
I buff up the peen's ball:
I am here to correct me some grammar.

INTACT-INTER

Last edited by Tromboniator; 09/01/2011 6:52 PM.
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Carpal Tunnel
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To the boneyard the zombie went in fact,
to check and see if the tomb remain intact.
If not, what that did infer,
was he'd have to re- inter,
His beloved's home,the earth to be repacked.


(whew: exhausted brain, Brains???)


LAUREL/LAVISH


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Well, whaddaya know? Pigs can fly, after all!


From the AP wire service, September 3, 2011:
Quote:

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Pig flies — to new home in NY
FARMINGDALE, N.Y.

A pig flew — from Florida to New York on Pet Airways.

Newsday reports that a miniature potbellied pig named Bosley arrived at Republic Airport on Long Island Thursday to join his new adoptive family in Sag Harbor.

The 49-pound porker is the first pig for the Florida-based Pet Airways, which specializes in flying animals.

Airline cofounder Alysa Binder says it’s “exciting and so fun” that pigs can fly now.

Bosley was originally adopted as a piglet by a Florida family from a local pet shop, but grew too large for his home.

His new family in Sag Harbor prefers to remain anonymous.

Newsday says Bosley appeared content when he deplaned at Republic and didn’t need to wait for his stomach to settle before he started eating.



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Oink! for him.


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Nice story Wofa.

LukeJavan8 #202533 09/21/2011 7:14 AM
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At the céilidh exceedingly lavish
Sylph-like beauty my senses did ravish.
Chased her into the laurel
With a motive immoral.
To my shock, it was Angus MacTavish.

REACTION - REAMER

Last edited by Tromboniator; 09/21/2011 7:15 AM.
Jackie #202535 09/21/2011 12:07 PM
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He's back!

Apart from having to google 'céilidh'....a wonderful tale, Peter

Not much left to the imagination LOL

Candy #202539 09/21/2011 1:13 PM
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Keeping the ole mind going: good for you, Peter.


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smile we had them fly in a much more interesting manner. Writing that limerick was such hard work (thanks wofa) I forgot it was funny.

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It was fun Avy, wasn't it! A joint adventure.

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:o)

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A funny young fella, the guys called 'the dreamer',
was having his breakfast juice from the reamer.
His mind was not 'with it'
he forgot his eggs and his biscuit,
His reaction: he fell bruising his femur.


PUTTER/PYLON

Last edited by LukeJavan8; 09/25/2011 5:56 PM.

----please, draw me a sheep----
LukeJavan8 #202616 09/25/2011 7:03 PM
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PUTTER - PYLON

My golf game's no good 'cuz my putter
Always sends the balls into the gutter.
If I wrap it with nylon,
Aim straight for the pylon,
Ya think they will go where they oughter?


FLAGSTAFF - FOREIGN

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Carpal Tunnel
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Don't know much about golf, but great one!


----please, draw me a sheep----
wofahulicodoc #202634 09/27/2011 4:10 AM
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FLAGSTAFF - FOREIGN

I hate reading philosophers foreign,
Find their thinking incredibly borin'.
At the airport in Flagstaff
I'd read luggage tags half-
Way through before Kierkegaard, Søren.

TAKING - TAMBOURINE

Jackie #202637 09/27/2011 11:03 AM
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Love your work, Peter.

Tromboniator #202644 09/27/2011 4:02 PM
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Who plays the tambourine
For what he has not read or seen
For all he is not taking
is a moron in the making
And I wouldn't call him keen

(wink!)

DREADLOCKS D-MINOR

BranShea #202655 09/28/2011 6:50 AM
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DREADLOCKS D-MINOR

A young man with magnificent dreadlocks
Hoped to be a key man for the Red Sox.
Played the blues in D-minor
At a small roadside diner:
Couldn't pitch his way out of "The Breadbox."

DICKENS - DIFFERENCE

Last edited by Tromboniator; 09/28/2011 8:44 AM.
Tromboniator #202663 09/28/2011 9:42 PM
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A would-be chef with his hands in the mixins,
was brewing up the family's fixins.
His mind in a book
Was all the difference it took
The repast was ruined by Charles Dickens.




NUMEROUS/NUZZLE

Last edited by LukeJavan8; 09/28/2011 9:43 PM.

----please, draw me a sheep----
LukeJavan8 #202702 10/02/2011 5:15 AM
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Now you all know I'm not the best at this game, so when you laugh....I hope its in a good way smirk



An old Latin gentleman named Rufous
gave into his urgings numerous

with his protruding wet muzzle
he was on for a nuzzle

and carnal knowledge made him adulterous


SERVICE SEXTING

Candy #202706 10/02/2011 3:04 PM
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Carpal Tunnel
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Certainly good, funny, too.


----please, draw me a sheep----
Candy #202751 10/06/2011 8:12 AM
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SERVICE — SEXTING

I thank Charity Doright for texting
All the mourners; let's see, what's the next thing?
I'm a little bit nervous:
My first burial service.
Oh! I must thank the sexton for sexting!

CLEAR — CLICK

Tromboniator #202761 10/07/2011 12:40 PM
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ha ha....I am visualising that situation.

How many times do you hear people say 'wedding' when they meant 'funeral' and visa versa. I'm putting it down to nerves!

And some say....visualize your audience naked......as a way to get over your 'nerves'....maybe thats why the sexton thought 'his message' would help smirk

Love it Peter.

Candy #202783 10/10/2011 6:18 AM
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Interesting concept — and not what I meant! grin

Last edited by Tromboniator; 10/10/2011 6:20 AM.
Jackie #202785 10/10/2011 2:10 PM
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well....you never know how people are going read what you write!
I guess thats how misunderstanding occur LOL.

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I've been most exceedingly sick,
Throat and nose filled with mucous so thick
But now I'm quite clear
And I'm sure I can hear
The sound of a mouse's paws click.

Sorry ! Forgot to put the next words in. blush

WEIGHT - WELLADAY

Last edited by Rhubarb Commando; 11/18/2011 10:32 AM.

I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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WEIGHT-WELLADAY

This diet's all food that tastes great;
I can't seem to lose any weight!
I keep filling my tray
Till I'm stuffed! Welladay!
I keep hoping they'll serve meals I hate.

INSCRIPTION – INSTALL

Last edited by Tromboniator; 11/24/2011 11:39 AM.
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Oh, I like this one!


I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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A Monument planned for our Hall,
To celebrate Lauren Bacall,
Was of lofty description
For a lengthy inscription
But too massive by far to install


I'm immortal until proven otherwise
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