|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
A fine young man from County Clare,
walked through Dublin with quite a flair.
He'd tip his hat to each maid and miss;
behind his back they'd blow a kiss.
He'd dream sweet dreams when back in his lair.
RIFE/RIGHT
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
The pundits panned opening night,
Said my play to the stage was a blight.
Contumely was rife,
So I queried my wife:
It turns out that the critics were right!
ARM-AROUSE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Peter.....I've told you before, you must take your wife's advice. When will you learn!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
The student raised his arm to reply
to the teacher's question, who gave a sigh,
For Little Johnny was in her class,
And she gazed again out the window glass,
to arouse a fear, should she give him a try?
BAIL/BALCONY
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
He drove the hot Ford down the trail
To the condo, right next to the jail.
He parked the old Falcon, he
Climbed up to the balcony,
And stole just enough for his bail.
CROW-CRUNCHER
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
I'm guessing that Little Johnny's answers would cause fear in most teachers minds....Luke  And great work (again) Peter, ah the irony of crime...a bit like confession LOL.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Well done, Peter.
Yes, Candy, I've had some like Little Johnny.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
The crow flew to the feeder to eat,
Hanging on dearly, big bird, little feet.
He hoped to make this his midmorning luncher,
sunflower, salflower, millet, barley cruncher.
Surprised him, I did, I'd filled it with wheat.
KNELL/KNOW
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
We were glad when we heard that small bell,
'Cause it signaled his fall into hell.
Broke his neck, you must know,
When she wrung it, just so:
Our delectable belle, Little Knell.
BLUE-BLUFF
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
There was a young lad named Little Boy Blue,
horn in his hand, to the haystack he flew.
The townsfolk knew his songs were just fluff,
Variations on one theme, it was all just a bluff.
Worn out from his efforts sleep came fast too.
HALL/HAMMER
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 08/31/2011 2:09 AM.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
I pick up my rule book and hammer,
Make my way to the linguistic slammer.
As I walk down the hall
I buff up the peen's ball:
I am here to correct me some grammar.
INTACT-INTER
Last edited by Tromboniator; 09/01/2011 6:52 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
To the boneyard the zombie went in fact,
to check and see if the tomb remain intact.
If not, what that did infer,
was he'd have to re- inter,
His beloved's home,the earth to be repacked.
(whew: exhausted brain, Brains???)
LAUREL/LAVISH
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2 |
Well, whaddaya know? Pigs can fly, after all! From the AP wire service, September 3, 2011:
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Pig flies — to new home in NY
FARMINGDALE, N.Y.
A pig flew — from Florida to New York on Pet Airways.
Newsday reports that a miniature potbellied pig named Bosley arrived at Republic Airport on Long Island Thursday to join his new adoptive family in Sag Harbor.
The 49-pound porker is the first pig for the Florida-based Pet Airways, which specializes in flying animals.
Airline cofounder Alysa Binder says it’s “exciting and so fun” that pigs can fly now.
Bosley was originally adopted as a piglet by a Florida family from a local pet shop, but grew too large for his home.
His new family in Sag Harbor prefers to remain anonymous.
Newsday says Bosley appeared content when he deplaned at Republic and didn’t need to wait for his stomach to settle before he started eating.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
At the céilidh exceedingly lavish
Sylph-like beauty my senses did ravish.
Chased her into the laurel
With a motive immoral.
To my shock, it was Angus MacTavish.
REACTION - REAMER
Last edited by Tromboniator; 09/21/2011 7:15 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
He's back!
Apart from having to google 'céilidh'....a wonderful tale, Peter
Not much left to the imagination LOL
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Keeping the ole mind going: good for you, Peter.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
 we had them fly in a much more interesting manner. Writing that limerick was such hard work (thanks wofa) I forgot it was funny.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
It was fun Avy, wasn't it! A joint adventure.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
A funny young fella, the guys called 'the dreamer',
was having his breakfast juice from the reamer.
His mind was not 'with it'
he forgot his eggs and his biscuit,
His reaction: he fell bruising his femur.
PUTTER/PYLON
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 09/25/2011 5:56 PM.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2 |
PUTTER - PYLON
My golf game's no good 'cuz my putter
Always sends the balls into the gutter.
If I wrap it with nylon,
Aim straight for the pylon,
Ya think they will go where they oughter?
FLAGSTAFF - FOREIGN
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Don't know much about golf, but great one!
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
FLAGSTAFF - FOREIGN
I hate reading philosophers foreign,
Find their thinking incredibly borin'.
At the airport in Flagstaff
I'd read luggage tags half-
Way through before Kierkegaard, Søren.
TAKING - TAMBOURINE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
Who plays the tambourine
For what he has not read or seen
For all he is not taking
is a moron in the making
And I wouldn't call him keen
(wink!)
DREADLOCKS D-MINOR
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
DREADLOCKS D-MINOR
A young man with magnificent dreadlocks
Hoped to be a key man for the Red Sox.
Played the blues in D-minor
At a small roadside diner:
Couldn't pitch his way out of "The Breadbox."
DICKENS - DIFFERENCE
Last edited by Tromboniator; 09/28/2011 8:44 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
A would-be chef with his hands in the mixins,
was brewing up the family's fixins.
His mind in a book
Was all the difference it took
The repast was ruined by Charles Dickens.
NUMEROUS/NUZZLE
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 09/28/2011 9:43 PM.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Now you all know I'm not the best at this game, so when you laugh....I hope its in a good way  An old Latin gentleman named Rufous gave into his urgings numerous with his protruding wet muzzle he was on for a nuzzle and carnal knowledge made him adulterous SERVICE SEXTING
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Certainly good, funny, too.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
SERVICE — SEXTING
I thank Charity Doright for texting
All the mourners; let's see, what's the next thing?
I'm a little bit nervous:
My first burial service.
Oh! I must thank the sexton for sexting!
CLEAR — CLICK
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
ha ha....I am visualising that situation. How many times do you hear people say 'wedding' when they meant 'funeral' and visa versa. I'm putting it down to nerves! And some say....visualize your audience naked......as a way to get over your 'nerves'....maybe thats why the sexton thought 'his message' would help Love it Peter.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
Interesting concept — and not what I meant! 
Last edited by Tromboniator; 10/10/2011 6:20 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
well....you never know how people are going read what you write!
I guess thats how misunderstanding occur LOL.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075 |
I've been most exceedingly sick, Throat and nose filled with mucous so thick But now I'm quite clear And I'm sure I can hear The sound of a mouse's paws click. Sorry ! Forgot to put the next words in.  WEIGHT - WELLADAY
Last edited by Rhubarb Commando; 11/18/2011 10:32 AM.
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
WEIGHT-WELLADAY
This diet's all food that tastes great;
I can't seem to lose any weight!
I keep filling my tray
Till I'm stuffed! Welladay!
I keep hoping they'll serve meals I hate.
INSCRIPTION – INSTALL
Last edited by Tromboniator; 11/24/2011 11:39 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075 |
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,075 |
A Monument planned for our Hall,
To celebrate Lauren Bacall,
Was of lofty description
For a lengthy inscription
But too massive by far to install
I'm immortal until proven otherwise
|
|
|
|
|
