|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
I gather that someone makes up the first line, then the participants add ensuing lines until it is done.
The example takes a lot of forcing to get it to fit standard limerick scansion, but it's fun.
Last edited by Tromboniator; 06/28/2011 11:40 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 52
journeyman
|
|
journeyman
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 52 |
Yes, the first poster makes up the first line then subsequent posters add the next line and so on..........
I dont know if everything we do is correct in limerick fashion but as you say, its fun..........
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
I wonder if making one line would be easier than composing the whole limerick? As I think I said before, the last line always gets me stumped.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
It's worth a try, at least.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
We could try, but I may get squirmy with selfishness: I really like the challenge of constructing the whole relationship of the words. Of course, we could all write our own versions and post the results each time the committee version is finished, just to see how weirdly our brains differ. Or not. No pressure to post one if you don't want to, or don't have one.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
How about the standard beginning:
There once was a man from Nantucket
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
I'll give a last line, which still permits your choice of blue or grey innards:
There once was a man from Nantucket
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
.....xxxxxxxxxxxxxb
.....xxxxxxxxxxxxxb
Because of the lightning that struck it!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who would do anything for a ducat.
Oops, sorry wofa, I didn't see you slide in there. No conflict.
Last edited by Tromboniator; 06/29/2011 8:52 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who would do anything for a ducat.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
He/Which turned into gold
Because of the lightening that struck it.
(Gold has more possibilities than money or silver. Since this is the first one of the kind I guess we are not trying to compete here)
Edit: I think the last player should be allowed to tweak my line.
Last edited by Avy; 06/30/2011 1:42 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
Why has no one completed the rhyme?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
Too busy? No ideas? Not my turn?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
How long does it take to do one sentence? IT IS ALREADY THERE! Phew. The wait is too nerve racking. Maybe I shouldn't play.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
Why has no one completed the rhyme? No imagination, that's why. Consider, for example: There once was a man from Nantucket
Who would do anything for a ducat.... He put lead in a mold... Which he turned into gold
Because of the lightning that struck it. It's grey, that's what it is. But not funny. And it scans, and it rhymes, and who cares? No cleverness, no double meanings, no unexpected wordplay, nothing interesting in structure or content, nothing ribald even, goes over like your proverbial gold balloon (once it's been struck by lightning, anyway). Maybe this isn't the best medium for a limerick; one-line-at-a-time makes it very hard to set up a punchline that pervades the whole oeuvre. [/whinge] Thoughts, anybody? Or maybe let's just try again, see what happens, and figure out the difference: 1) A parachute fell from the sky. (Here's a thought: this invites/permits don't know why, walk on by, pigs may fly, much too high, cast a die, fish to fry, what a guy, wouldn't lie, me oh my, etc. How many things rhyme with bucket, anyway?)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
>He put lead into mold
I like it. I never thought of this line and was happy with what you got.
Yes there is no fun in the final product. There can't be.
I am intrigued by your change in the game. What you are doing is a kind of choice to the next player. The skill lies in not writing the line but choosing the choices. This way the first player has most control over the rhyme. (We might get a good rhyme out of this. Let's check)
Tried and failed do it. How can we give choices to the b rhyme. The whole dictionary is a choice.
Anyway here goes:
A parachute fell from the sky.
xxxxxxxxxxxa
xxxxxxb
xxxxxxb
Proving indeed that pigs can fly.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Whew! You guys are at it.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
Wofa-s, the last rhyme's quality might have been affected by the fact that you and Trom double posted. I think each line has to emerge from the other. This attempt maybe better.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
A parachute fell from the sky.
Underneath it a sixty-ton sty.
xxxxxxb
xxxxxxb
Proving indeed that pigs can fly.
I'm not sure it works to do the lines out of sequence. Or the person who starts could specify which position that initial line should occupy.
Edit: I suppose in some cases it would be obvious!
Last edited by Tromboniator; 07/01/2011 8:12 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Hows this looking?
A parachute fell from the sky.
Underneath it a sixty-ton sty.
Baked Beans they had eaten was producing gas
Which exploded like gunfire from the swines ass
Proving indeed that pigs can fly.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
First we need to agree that, although it's not the only form of poetry, a Limerick has five lines, and they read "da BOM ba da BOM ba da A ba da BOM ba da BOM ba da A ba da BOM ba da B ba da BOM ba da B ba da BOM ba da BOM ba da A" The first syllable of each line may be present or not, as long as the BOM is in the right place. Like it or not that we have to follow Roolz, that's what a Limerick is. Back to the Limerick Workshop: A parachute fell from the sky.
Underneath it a sixty-ton sty.
Baked Beans they had eaten was producing gas
Which exploded like gunfire from the swines ass
Proving indeed that pigs can fly. OK, that works for rhyme scheme, -a, -a, -b, -b, -a. But it needs to conform to the rhythm scheme, and we're not there yet. S'pose we change line 2 like this: A parachute fell from the sky.
Below was a sixty-pig sty. Baked Beans they had eaten was producing gas Which exploded like gunfire from the swines ass Proving indeed that pigs can fly. Next challenge: shorten lines 3 and 4 to six syllables. And looking ahead - we're going to want to introduce some sparkle somewhere. Otherwise it's just another juvenile Beavis-and-Butthead bathroom joke, exactly as humorous as "Ooh, ooh, he said fart! He said fart!")
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
A parachute fell from the sky,
Below was a sixty pig sty,
Baked beans producing gas
Exploded from their ass
And proved that sixty pigs can fly.
Not bad for a collective effort eh?
Edit: except ass ahould have been plural but that would give one too many syllable. Any one have a solution for this?
Last edited by Avy; 07/02/2011 1:30 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
A parachute fell from the sky,
Below was a sixty pig sty,
Baked beans producing gas
Exploded from their ass
And proved that sixty pigs can fly. To polish up the rhythm slightly :
A parachute fell from the sky.
Below was a sixty-pig sty.
Beans turned into gas
Rushing out of their ass
Showed us how to make sixty pigs fly.Rhyme scheme? Check. Rhythm? Check. Humor? Maybe. Of a sort. A question: What does the parachute have to do with anything? Could have equally been a parakeet, an elephant, The President, a barnicle, a bicycle, a Witherspoon, a Communist, or a Googolplex. We've got the notes right and the rhythm right, but I'm not sure it's music yet.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
A farmer fell from the sky
While feeding his sixty pig sty
The beans and their gases
Rushed out of their asses
He witnessed his sixty pigs fly
Kitem(what?) Moosic?
Last edited by Avy; 07/02/2011 2:16 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
A farmer fell from the sky
Here we're missing a syllable, and the rhythm stumbles. But at least the "faller" has some relevance now.
It's not easy to get all the elements to be present at the same time !
For the fifth line - how about
And he said, "Sure enough! Pigs may fly!"
But somehow i'd like it to be about how he shows/teaches us how to make them do it. This way it's an accidental occurrence he happens to stumble across. (happens to fall into?)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
The farmer fed beans to his sty
And pushed the pigs out of the sky
And when all the gases
Escaped from their asses
He said, "There you go! Pigs can fly."
-
This wofa is too exacting. I am thinking of resigning from this job.
Last edited by Avy; 07/02/2011 3:42 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 52
journeyman
|
|
journeyman
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 52 |
The farmer was looking into the sky
As he fed beans to his pigs in the sty
And when all the gases
Escaped from there asses
He thought, dang good job these pigs can't fly
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
Wofa, I most respectfully challenge your rhythm analysis. Reduced to the simplest form, a limerick may be:
Bom ba da Bom ba da Bam
Bom ba da Bom ba da Bam
Bom ba da Bum
Bom ba da Bum
Bom ba da Bom ba da Bam
You can add one or two unstressed syllables before the first stressed syllable of any or all lines, you can add one unstressed syllable after all the Bams, you can add one unstressed syllable after both Bums.
In New York it's too hot to complain.
I picked a big bunch of petunias.
I hate it when teenagers swear.
Felix the Cat drives me mad
These are all legitimate A (or, in this case, Bam) lines for a limerick. And (please don't consider this as a complaint or attack, I merely point this out) my line
Underneath it a sixty-ton sty.
exactly fits your
ba da BOM ba da BOM ba da A.
I wholeheartedly approve of your change from "ton" to "pig."
Edit: Actually, you can add two unstressed syllables after Bam. Difficult, but possible. I haven't delved into the rhyme question yet!
Last edited by Tromboniator; 07/02/2011 8:24 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
This wofa is too exacting. No, he's not. If the rhythm is wrong it ain't a limerick. I am thinking of resigning from this job. Don't you dare!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
I'd like to see the last line say that the pigs flew
The farmer was looking into the sky
As he fed beans to his pigs in the sty
And when all the gases
Escaped from there asses
He thought, if I light-up now, those pigs will fly
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
Wofa, I most respectfully challenge your rhythm analysis. Reduced to the simplest form, a limerick may be:
Bom ba da Bom ba da Bam
Bom ba da Bom ba da Bam
Bom ba da Bum
Bom ba da Bum
Bom ba da Bom ba da Bam
You can add one or two unstressed syllables before the first stressed syllable of any or all lines, you can add one unstressed syllable after all the Bams, you can add one unstressed syllable in both Bums. (or even two sometimes) To keep the original post short I didn't list all possibe exceptions. You're right in every particular.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
The farmer was looking into the sky
As he fed beans to his pigs in the sty
And when all the gases
Escaped from there asses
He thought, if I light-up now, those pigs will fly
And Candy, I like your last line change but now there are too many breaks in the rhythm.
Can we bring it back into line:
A farmer looked into the sky
And fed beans to his pigs in the sty.
He said, as the gases
Escaped from their asses,
"If I light up now, pigs will fly!"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
To keep the original post short I didn't list all possibe exceptions.
Sorry, I suppose I do tend to be a little windy. Speaking of gasses.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
This wofa is too exacting. No, he's not. If the rhythm is wrong it ain't a limerick. Yeah correct. I am just faux grumbling. I enjoyed the work oout I am thinking of resigning from this job. Don't you dare!  it is tough to resign from obsession.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
And Candy, I like your last line change but now there are too many breaks in the rhythm.
I knew you would fix it Wofa  now come back to our other game......
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
Did you know that Gilbert & Sullivan wrote limericks? They didn't call them that, of course, but limericks they are, all the same. Here's a song from Ruddigore, Act I ("If you wish in this world to advance"), and here are the complete lyrics if you want to mouse over them. (Notice the liberties Gilbert takes with the rhyme scheme. Never with the rhythm, though. Besides, the music wouldn't permit it.) SONG--ROBIN:
My boy, you may take it from me,
That of all the afflictions accurst
With which a man's saddled
And hampered and addled,
A diffident nature's the worst.
Though clever as clever can be--
A Crichton of early romance--
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!
Chorus: If you wish in the world to advance,
Your merits you're bound to enhance,
You must stir it and stump it,
And blow your own trumpet,
Or, trust me, you haven't a chance!
Now take, for example, my case:
I've a bright intellectual brain--
In all London city
There's no one so witty--
I've thought so again and again.
I've a highly intelligent face--
My features cannot be denied--
But, whatever I try, sir,
I fail in--and why, sir?
I'm modesty personified!
If you wish in the world to advance, etc.
As a poet, I'm tender and quaint--
I've passion and fervour and grace--
From Ovid and Horace
To Swinburne and Morris,
They all of them take a back place.
Then I sing and I play and I paint:
Though none are accomplished as I,
To say so were treason:
You ask me the reason?
I'm diffident, modest, and shy!
If you wish in the world to advance, etc.
(Exit Robin.)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,971 Likes: 3 |
Interesting, thanks much.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Thanks Wofa, I enjoyed that and I marvel at the performance in the video. Not an easy musical to perform, I bet.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
It doesn't have to be staged as cimematically as that; an amateur group can present it quite adequately. The music is sweeping, and some of the patter parodies itself. ("This particularly rapid unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter...") And Mad Margaret's character can stop the show!
(Basingstoke, my dear.)
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
My efforts to write are a dud.
The rhythm has me sweating blood.
I can come up with rhymes
That work two or three times,
But the meter's like swilling warm Bud.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,066 Likes: 2 |
I read all these lim'riks we've written
And confess that I'm thoroughly smitten.
But the game that was Sparteye's
Had more, and me hearties,
Those FIRST and LAST words we're omittin' !
BUCKMINSTER FULLER -- BYLAWS
|
|
|
|
|
