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As long as nothing will kill my joint coordinates me and my sandcrawler's kinematics will keep me moving.
 INDICES - INDOCTRINATE
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I decided to completely indoctrinate my apprentice by requiring her to cross-reference the indices of seven anthologies.
 SHEAR - SHEIK
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Joined:  Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 Carpal Tunnel |  
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I'm going to cheat a bit on this one...
 Bald-headed sheik's aide:  "I said, shear the SHEEP, you idiot!"
 
 QUIETUS--QURAN
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Why do you pick such hard ones, Jackie?     The minister's familiarity with the Quran put the quietus on her critics. TRACT - TRAGEDY |  |  |  
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Hey, it oughta be interesting, quoi? |  |  |  
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Of course!  I was just having a little whine.... |  |  |  
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Yeah, yeah...okay, Miss Smartypants!  You are such a tragedi an; can't you take my retract ion?    SASIN--SAVELOY |  |  |  
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I leapt like a sasin, full of joy, when I won first prize for my saveloy.
 MARDUK - MARJORAM
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Marduk the Babylonian was worshipped with twigs of marjoram.
 DIAL-DERN
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When the frozen man was discovered and thawed out in the year 2150, he said, "How do you dial this dern phone?  I want to call my family".
 KILLDEER--KIT
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Darn!    I think I meant this dern:dern [fr. Fris. dern, hidden, secret, obscure]  now chiefly dialect 1) hidden, secret; crafty, underhanded 2) drear, dark, somber, dire 3) UK : earnest, determined But an SF approach is just as well. |  |  |  
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From his mountain dern, all alone, the hermit tried to dial his phone; alas! he had AT&T!  
Last edited by Coffeebean; 02/17/2010 11:07 PM.
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 1) hidden, secret; crafty, underhanded
   Ok, so the phone was behind a secret panel!     |  |  |  
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The secret panel has vanished.Please don't kill the killdeer, we have lost the resurrection kit.
 
 INHERIT - ICE CUBES
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Her grandfather twirled the ice cubes in his glass and growled, "If you expect to inherit anything from me, young lady, you'll finish school and get a job!"
 
 TRILOBITE -- TRIPE
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"Trilobite!  Trilobite??  I ain't no effen trilobite", said the thawed-out* man.  "What a load of tripe--I'm not that old!"*(At first I had frozen man...then I realized he wouldn't be able to speak!)
 
 FORWENT--FRACTURE
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It is interesting that we seldom hear the verb "forwent".  Sounds stuffy and pretentious, I guess.  I will use "forego" in a sentence, and when needing to put it into past tense, would choose the structure: "decided to forego".
 Tom forwent the camping trip due to his fractured thumb.
 
 KIDNEY STONE -- KINDLING
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[whisper] Yeah, there wasn't any def. after the word; it just said to see forgo.  But it was the headword.[/whisper] |  |  |  
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A Frenchman who lived on the RhoneWas beset with a large kidney stone.
 With a shaft thin as kindling,
 His forbearance was dwindling,
 And he decided to pass it alone.
 
 MOFETTE - MOLT
 
Last edited by beck123; 02/23/2010 1:28 AM.
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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It's a tragic disorder.  I can only communicate my most personal thoughts in the form of limericks 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Cool!beck123 Where  moff 's made for the coquette a mofette's a quite a different sujet a noxious emanation  you don't want to behold where vulcanos are subject to molt   (immerick ) HERMETIC - HAVOC |  |  |  
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The Twinkie (a food so patheticIt's sealed in a package hermetic)
 Is OK for those
 Who control their glucose,
 But wreaks havoc on those diabetic.
 
 IMPERIUM - IMPLORE
 
Last edited by beck123; 02/23/2010 11:16 PM.
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Come on, boys and girls, wake up out there!  It's been 12 hours.
 There once was a woman named Miriam
 Who desired her own vast imperium.
 When denied her own sceptre
 By the husband who kept her,
 She implored, "Why not me?" in delerium
 
 SLOP - SLUG
 
Last edited by beck123; 02/23/2010 11:24 PM.
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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The lowly and crawly old Slug,Envies Snail with a fire and hearthrug,
 Tho' it has no abode,
 To take on the road,
 It can slip through the slop and be smug.
 
 DUMB AGUE - DUNNE
 (I used a "real" dictionary, AH, random opening...)
 (Limericks not my strong suit, but I do enjoy them.)
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I'm glad you enjoy them, and you seem to have done a good job with this one.  I'm using an old F&W Standard College, with a 1974 copyright.  (If the head words are too similar, I randomly open it a second time.) 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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The dumb ague had gripped Mrs. BunnTo the fright of her freckled-faced son.
 When she asked, "Junior, truly,
 Have you called Mr. Dooley?"
 He replied (as you've guessed,) "Fin'ly Dunne"
 
 IDIOCY - IGNIFY
 
Last edited by beck123; 02/24/2010 2:15 AM.
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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'Sorry' said the woman from the pharmacy,'To be the unwitting cause of your lunacy,
 I meant to purify,
 And not to ignify,
 Your liver; please pardon my idiocy.'
 
 OUTDOOR OUTPUT
 
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 Thumbs up for your limericks B. You write well. I found this hard work.
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It is hard work!
 I squander far too much of my time composing them.
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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An outdoor designer named DeegerMet up with two females, both eager.
 Though his output was fine
 With the first one in line,
 His second was terribly meager.
 
 THOROUGH - THREADFIN
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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a thorough search in the Hague proved the  threadfin  is rather vague for all sorts of fishes  turned up at my wishes so the naming may be a mistague. MOOSE - MUSTARD   (are you using some kind of book ?) |  |  |  
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we were hunting the North Woods for moosewhen our hound dog (named Rover) got loose
 he got into the mustard
 and also the custard
 but Rover came back smelling of goose
 
 ODZOOKS .. OFF
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The apprentice exclaiming "Odzooks!"Earned the worst of the alchemist's looks;
 He explained, with a cough,
 "I was just j***ing off,
 And you won't find that word in your books."
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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   oh my, oh my. 
 ----please, draw me a sheep----
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Joined:  Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 Carpal Tunnel |  
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beck has suggested that we start a new thread: Sparteye's Limerick Game. but we might as well continue to play with the concept here before we splinter off. 
 where's our new pair, beck?
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Joined:  Apr 2000 Posts: 10,542 Carpal Tunnel |  
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should we require use of "the target words as the A and B of your rhyme scheme", as in the last couple of entries (perhaps reverse lines 3 and 4 of beck's).
 should we follow the typical limerick form; i.e., one slightly risque sentence, as in beck's last?
 
 these 'impositions' prolly makes things that much more difficult, but.
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I say we leave it loose on this thread.  Maybe others will be inspired - we already have a few good takers.  We can set new, obnoxiously difficult rules if we open another thread.
 Oops.  The new words are...
 
 GRINGO - GRONINGEN
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Please do not set rules on scansion.  Limericks scan, I think, as lines 1,2,5 in tetrameter and 3,4 in trimeter (iambic). That is way way way too much work. If I put in so much work and I will want to frame the limerick in gold and put it up on my wall.
 
Last edited by Avy; 02/25/2010 2:07 AM.
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There once was a poet - a gringo -Who wrote poems in his own native lingo.
 From Dallas to Groningen
 He made us all groan again,
 And here's his new limerick.  Bingo!
 
 DEATHBED - DECADE
 
 "I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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