|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Sneaking in: FTR, I haven't heard a peep from Ms. Double-J. Sigh. People should not be so thin-skinned, but then neither is it right for some people to be rude to others.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 725 |
There once was a fellow named Leon:
His enemies thought him a peon.
But in a fight rough and frictional
His actions proved far from fictional;
And they found his blood to be colder than Freon.
KIDNEY - KINDLY
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
I just want to say.....I'm loving reading this thread but I suck at making up my own rhymes....so cant contribute 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655 |
Uh-oh. A frank and vulgar conversation between two friends. Don't look if that doesn't sound like your sort of limerick. Lee's neighbor, his life-long friend, Sydney,
Asked Lee if he might have Lee's kidney.
"I hope you don't mind, Lee,"
Sid asked him most kindly.
Lee answered, "F**k you! Are you kiddin' me?" GUILTY - GUMMA
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Uh-oh. A frank and vulgar conversation between two friends. Don't look if that doesn't sound like your sort of limerick.
I'm guilty and ROFLMHO @ you 123
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677 |
A guilty young man he once found,
A rather disagreeable mound,
'Oh no a gumma!'
He cried to his mamma,
And fainted right there on the ground.
COTERMINOUS + COTTONMOUTH
----The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655 |
His dentist had sadly forgotten
To pack Al's tooth sockets with cotton.
Mouth, once hale, grew verminous
In the sockets coterminous,
And his jawbone began to go rotten.
INTRUDE - INVENTION
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20
stranger
|
|
stranger
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20 |
A bone of contention
Requiring ample comprehension
To relieve the tension,
Necessity is the mother of all invention.
Her ability to inspire a multitude
Is often misconstrued, seeming to intrude
And even pooh-poohed.
Relax and try not to come unglued.
plump - podium
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655 |
When the young lady stood at the podium,
She observed her reflection with odium.
"My God! I've grown plump!
I can't see past my rump!
I will just have to lay off the sodium."
GRIGRI - GRIZZLY
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655 |
No vulgarity, but pretty darned off color, nonetheless. "Let's stop Lee, I have to go tee-tee,"
Bob said as he looked at his grigri.
"Golly gee whiz, Lee
You're as rough as a grizzly.
With a knot in it, how can I pee-pee?" DAYBREAK - DEADFALL
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20
stranger
|
|
stranger
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20 |
A limerick!
I think I'm allergic.
It's kinda frightening.
Uh oh, throats tightening!
Quick, get me some kinnikinnick.......
Daybreak - Deadfall....challenging!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20
stranger
|
|
stranger
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20 |
Uh-oh. A frank and vulgar conversation between two friends. Don't look if that doesn't sound like your sort of limerick. Lee's neighbor, his life-long friend, Sydney,
Asked Lee if he might have Lee's kidney.
"I hope you don't mind, Lee,"
Sid asked him most kindly.
Lee answered, "F**k you! Are you kiddin' me?" GUILTY - GUMMA How do you do the click me thing?...mines, um...bawdy and more than a little naughty.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677 |
You have to click on the S with / through it it full reply. It is next to the S button and " button. 
----The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20
stranger
|
|
stranger
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 20 |
Hmmmm, sounds tricky....Bexter. Thanks, I'll give it a go. Santa returned at daybreak
Having one hell of a headache
The victim of a deadfall trap,
Sarcasm and vitriol on tap.
Oh, for Christ's sake, I need a nap! Spotty rhythm and rhyme...the limerick is no gift of mine. Guess I'll have to imbibe with a little wine.
Last edited by crash; 12/11/2010 12:50 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655 |
Hey, boyz&girlz, we need a new pair of words
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 655 |
(With apologies to crash:)
With its spotty rythmn and rhyme,
The limerick's no friend of mine:
"There once was a man...?"
Shoot, I don't give a damn.
I'll just sit here and drink me some wine.
I think of the form as psycho-haiku: The sky's the limit, but so is the meter and rhyme.
CARD - CARL
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
I'd love to play, but people ... limericks?
Oh, for the creativity of my misspent youth early middle age.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Thirty-eight pages show some really enjoyed it. Beck will
be back soon, got a PM from him saying so.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677 |
We can move away from limericks if you wish...I can do either (although limericks take longer to construct...!)
----The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,773 |
Oh, don't let me interfere with your fun. I was just poking at you a bit, because that is the prerogative of the ancient.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677
addict
|
|
addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 677 |
hmmm CARD and CARL...
I think I shall abandon my (pretty rubbish) limericks and leave those to Beck...much better at it than me!
A young Scottish carl was quite interestingly facially scarred - must have been that hit on the head with a large metal card
ahaha!
PLATICIZER + PLATYPUS
(sorry but those were the words!)
----The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
A snobbish old platypus kaiser
had a wife, but he seemed to despise 'er:
She was too short at court;
but I'm pleased to report
he invented a re-platicizer.
(Sorry, but I can't find a definition for that word. Apparently I'm not alone.)
CHROME DOME + CHRYSANTHEMUM
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
There was a teacher with a chrome dome
Stopped by a fence on his way home,
Looking to smell the roses
He found only chrysanthemums,
said "they'll do in a pinch, as would my pate do a comb."
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Pathetic I know. I'm none to good with limericks.
But I had a favorite teacher once whom everyone called
Chrome Dome, and I had to give it a try.
Someone can do better: keep the same words
CHROME DOME / CHRYSANTHEMUM
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 02/08/2011 4:10 PM.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 724 |
What's wrong with it? All the apostrophe's are in place  . I think you should chose a new pair of words for the next player.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Thanks Avy. I appreciate your kindness.
PEARL - PEDAGOGUE
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Pathetic I know. I'm none to good with limericks.
No, it inspired me to have a go..... The editor of the local newspaper called Pearl, was asked to print a epitaph and gave it a whirl the title was 'The Pedagogue' and was such a long monologue it ended up making people want to hurl. (and ▼ was the alternative) Said my aunt who was called Pearl,
'In my day, schoolgirls never went for a whirl'.
'er father was once a pedagogue
known for his evangelistic sermons in the synagogue.
That was enough to make any young gentleman, squi'rrel.QUEEN + RAFFLED
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,122 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,122 Likes: 2 |
QUEEN - RAFFLED
You've heard about Ellery Queen.
He'd show up at any crime sceen.
The clues could be raffled
Policemen were baffled
But Ellery never has been.
POL - POT
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
There was a young racketeer pol
who got rave reviews from his moll:
"His bod is so hot,
and he gives me good pot,
and he talks like a young Gore Vidal."
AWNING-AYE
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
And then when the new day came dawning,
Trevor opened his bedroom's awning;
Wiping sleep from his eye,
He nodded his head and said "Aye",
Yet jumped back into bed with great longing.
LATCH/LATHE
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 02/23/2011 6:27 PM.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Love both of them 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Thank you. I've never been very good, but that was
sort of fun, so hoping to do more.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706
Pooh-Bah
|
|
Pooh-Bah
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,706 |
Dave Router was very good on the lathe
and as he wanted privacy in the bathroom when he needed to bathe
to the workshop he dispatched
to grind himself a latch
so he could attend to his hygiene unscathed.
KNOWLEDGE/LAY
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Peter knew that in college his future lay,
But for that he had no way to pay
So he applied for a loan
by computer and by phone
Of person-to-person skills,all said, "No way".
AMASS/AMOUNT
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963
old hand
|
|
old hand
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 963 |
A fortune Luke strove to amass,
but his prices! He charged lots of brass;
yet he gave a discount
of twice that amount,
and the enterprise ran out of gas.
REHABILITATE-REINSURE
Last edited by Tromboniator; 03/01/2011 6:49 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
My fortune amassing days are over....just amassing creaky
bones these days. Good limerick, tho'.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,122 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,122 Likes: 2 |
REINSURE - describing an accomplisned horseman ?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3
Carpal Tunnel
|
|
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,974 Likes: 3 |
Gas prices rising the way they are, I may have to invest
in some reins and the critter to go with them.
----please, draw me a sheep----
|
|
|
|
Forums16
Topics13,915
Posts230,261
Members9,208
| |
Most Online4,606
Sep 17th, 2025
|
|
|
|
