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Sneaking in:  FTR, I haven't heard a peep from Ms. Double-J. Sigh.  People should not be so thin-skinned, but then neither is it right for some people to be rude to others.  
 
  
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There once was a fellow named Leon: His enemies thought him a peon. But in a fight rough and frictional His actions proved far from fictional; And they found his blood to be colder than Freon.
 
  KIDNEY - KINDLY 
 
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I just want to say.....I'm loving reading this thread but I suck at making up my own rhymes....so cant contribute      
 
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Uh-oh.  A frank and vulgar conversation between two friends.  Don't look if that doesn't sound like your sort of limerick. Lee's neighbor, his life-long friend, Sydney, Asked Lee if he might have Lee's kidney. "I hope you don't mind, Lee," Sid asked him most kindly. Lee answered, "F**k you! Are you kiddin' me?" GUILTY - GUMMA  
 
  
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Uh-oh.  A frank and vulgar conversation between two friends.  Don't look if that doesn't sound like your sort of limerick.   I'm guilty and ROFLMHO @ you 123  
 
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A guilty young man he once found, A rather disagreeable mound, 'Oh no a gumma!' He cried to his mamma, And fainted right there on the ground.
  COTERMINOUS + COTTONMOUTH 
 
  
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His dentist had sadly forgotten To pack Al's tooth sockets with cotton. Mouth, once hale, grew verminous In the sockets coterminous, And his jawbone began to go rotten.
  INTRUDE - INVENTION 
 
  
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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A bone of contention  Requiring ample comprehension To relieve the tension, Necessity is the mother of all invention.
  Her ability to inspire a multitude Is often misconstrued, seeming to intrude And even pooh-poohed. Relax and try not to come unglued.
  plump - podium 
 
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When the young lady stood at the podium, She observed her reflection with odium. "My God! I've grown plump! I can't see past my rump! I will just have to lay off the sodium."
  GRIGRI - GRIZZLY 
 
  
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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No vulgarity, but pretty darned off color, nonetheless. "Let's stop Lee, I have to go tee-tee," Bob said as he looked at his grigri. "Golly gee whiz, Lee You're as rough as a grizzly. With a knot in it, how can I pee-pee?" DAYBREAK - DEADFALL  
 
  
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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A limerick! I think I'm allergic. It's kinda frightening. Uh oh, throats tightening! Quick, get me some kinnikinnick.......
  Daybreak - Deadfall....challenging! 
 
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Uh-oh.  A frank and vulgar conversation between two friends.  Don't look if that doesn't sound like your sort of limerick. Lee's neighbor, his life-long friend, Sydney, Asked Lee if he might have Lee's kidney. "I hope you don't mind, Lee," Sid asked him most kindly. Lee answered, "F**k you! Are you kiddin' me?" GUILTY - GUMMA  How do you do the click me thing?...mines, um...bawdy and more than a little naughty.  
 
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You have to click on the S with / through it it full reply. It is next to the  S button and " button.    
 
  
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Hmmmm, sounds tricky....Bexter. Thanks, I'll give it a go. Santa returned at daybreak          Having one hell of a headache          The victim of a deadfall trap,          Sarcasm and vitriol on tap.          Oh, for Christ's sake, I need a nap! Spotty rhythm and rhyme...the limerick is no gift of mine.  Guess I'll have to imbibe with a little wine.  
Last edited by crash; 12/11/2010 12:50 PM.
 
 
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Hey, boyz&girlz, we need a new pair of words 
 
  
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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(With apologies to crash:)
  With its spotty rythmn and rhyme, The limerick's no friend of mine: "There once was a man...?" Shoot, I don't give a damn. I'll just sit here and drink me some wine.
  I think of the form as psycho-haiku:  The sky's the limit, but so is the meter and rhyme.
  CARD - CARL 
 
  
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I'd love to play, but people ... limericks?
  Oh, for the creativity of my misspent youth early middle age. 
 
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Thirty-eight pages show some really enjoyed it.  Beck will be back soon, got a PM from him saying so. 
 
  
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We can move away from limericks if you wish...I can do either (although limericks take longer to construct...!) 
 
  
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Oh, don't let me interfere with your fun.  I was just poking at you a bit, because that is the prerogative of the ancient. 
 
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hmmm CARD and CARL...
  I think I shall abandon my (pretty rubbish) limericks and leave those to Beck...much better at it than me!
  A young Scottish carl was quite interestingly facially scarred - must have been that hit on the head with a large metal card
  ahaha!
  PLATICIZER + PLATYPUS
  (sorry but those were the words!) 
 
  
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A snobbish old platypus kaiser had a wife, but he seemed to despise 'er: She was too short at court; but I'm pleased to report he invented a re-platicizer.
  (Sorry, but I can't find a definition for that word. Apparently I'm not alone.)
  CHROME DOME + CHRYSANTHEMUM 
 
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There was a teacher with a chrome dome Stopped by a fence on his way home, Looking to smell the roses He found only chrysanthemums,  said "they'll do in a pinch, as would my pate do a comb." 
 
  
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Pathetic I know.  I'm none to good with limericks. But I had a favorite teacher once whom everyone called Chrome Dome, and I had to give it a try.
  Someone can do better: keep the same words
  CHROME DOME / CHRYSANTHEMUM 
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What's wrong with it? All the apostrophe's are in place   . I think you should chose a new pair of words for the next player.  
 
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Thanks Avy.  I appreciate your kindness.
 
  PEARL   -   PEDAGOGUE 
 
  
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Pathetic I know.  I'm none to good with limericks.
  No, it inspired me to have a go..... The editor of the local newspaper called Pearl, was asked to print a epitaph and gave it a whirl the title was 'The Pedagogue' and was such a long monologue  it ended up making people want to hurl. (and ▼ was the alternative) Said my aunt who was called Pearl, 'In my day, schoolgirls never went for a whirl'. 'er father was once a pedagogue known for his evangelistic sermons in the synagogue. That was enough to make any young gentleman, squi'rrel.QUEEN + RAFFLED  
 
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 QUEEN - RAFFLED
 
  You've heard about Ellery Queen. He'd show up at any crime sceen.  The clues could be raffled   Policemen were baffled But Ellery never has been.
 
  POL - POT 
 
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There was a young racketeer pol who got rave reviews from his moll: "His bod is so hot, and he gives me good pot, and he talks like a young Gore Vidal."
 
  AWNING-AYE 
 
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And then when the new day came dawning, Trevor opened his bedroom's awning; Wiping sleep from his eye, He nodded his head and said "Aye", Yet jumped back into bed with great longing.
 
  LATCH/LATHE 
Last edited by LukeJavan8; 02/23/2011 6:27 PM.
 
 
  
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Love both of them      
 
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Thank you.  I've never been very good, but that was sort of fun, so hoping to do more. 
 
  
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Dave Router was very good on the lathe and as he wanted privacy in the bathroom when he needed to bathe to the workshop he dispatched to grind himself a latch so he could attend to his hygiene unscathed.
  KNOWLEDGE/LAY 
 
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Peter knew that in college his future lay, But for that he had no way to pay So he applied for a loan by computer and by phone Of person-to-person skills,all said, "No way".
 
  AMASS/AMOUNT 
 
  
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A fortune Luke strove to amass, but his prices! He charged lots of brass; yet he gave a discount of twice that amount, and the enterprise ran out of gas.
  REHABILITATE-REINSURE 
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My fortune amassing days are over....just amassing creaky bones these days.  Good limerick, tho'. 
 
  
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 REINSURE - describing an accomplisned horseman ? 
 
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Gas prices rising the way they are, I may have to invest in some reins and the critter to go with them. 
 
  
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