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In the palace worked Stephen the baker
who was also a silverware taker.
When his dishonesty
Was found by His Majesty
Stephen was sent off to his maker.
SERVE - SET
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At tennis with busty Nanette,
Young Adelbert rushed to the net.
Though she'd flubbed every serve,
He still worked up the nerve
To tell her politely, "Nice set."
HARD - HARMONIZE
Last edited by beck123; 06/01/2010 1:34 AM.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Wow! You have a nice set yourself, Mister Beck. I can't touch that but I can imitate: A traveling young tennis player named Merve Ran over a land mine before he could swerve. Sad. On the other hand In Afghanistan Set Point often comes before First ServeThanks. 
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"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Wow! You have a nice set yourself, Mister Beck. I can't touch that but I can imitate: A traveling young tennis player named Merve Ran over a land mine before he could swerve. Sad. On the other hand In Afghanistan Set Point often comes before First ServeThanks. Nice one, yourself, JJ. WELCOME!
----please, draw me a sheep----
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I light cigarettes, and I burn two. A-a-b-b-a I return to. It's just hard to defuse My old limerick muse. Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to? Welcome, JJ. Your secret code is:
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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I suspect, Mister Beck, that you are your own muse. Get out of his way. He is good...very good.
Now, with the lazy thought that fun trumps form I post this near rhyme...
The best back-up bass in Bayou County was the late Johnny Mize
John doo-woped in a quartet - the Mississippi Mudflat Fives
John's last song, though, was sang alto,
Solo, allegro and irato.
While being eaten by a gator it is hard to harmonize.
HUMANIST HUMOROUS
Last edited by jenny jenny; 06/08/2010 5:18 PM.
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My teacher done taught me fo' sure
That a "quartet" contains only four,
And yet now - 'sakes alive!-
The ol' Mudflats have five!
Seems it's possible there could be more!
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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 Humph! Who made the rule that a quartet can only have four members? I tell you, Beck, the language has gone to hell since the White Eyes came to this land. Before Desoto you had entire tribes of Choctaws and Chickasaws singing in a quartet. Even today on tour "The Five Blind Boys of Mississippi" might have as many as eight Blind Boys singing and spliting the pot. Seems fair.
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Pooh-Bah
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A man by the surname of Reams
Was describing the girl of his dreams:
"She's tall and she's fair,
With long golden hair,
And busting apart at the seams."
CONTINUATION CONSTERNATION
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@JJ:
On a language blog, surely we strive
To keep the value of language alive!
In a trio there's three,
And that's okay by me,
Plus, my Blind Boys CDs don't say, "Five!"
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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The pastor, whose background was Haitian,
Awoke every day with inflation.
Steady continuation
Of Platonic relation
Was causing him great consternation.
DUB - DUE
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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When an inner-pedant humanist (whom we will dub "Gus")
Said "the English language is beyond them" (Gus meant "us")
But give the devil his due do dew
Our English can be fun too to two
Who wants a serious language if it can't be hilarious
SELFHOOD SEMAPHORE
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Willy's selfhood for years had stood proud,
You could say he stood out from the crowd.
He was more than elated
When that semaphore bated,
Though his new bride was crying aloud.
GAZEBO - GELATINOUS
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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"Zis gazebo's ze scene of a crime.
And one can establish ze time.
Zis much we know,"
said Hercule Poirot,
From ze bloody, gelatinous slime."
ORIENT -- ORIOLE
Last edited by Alex Williams; 06/16/2010 11:12 AM.
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Before Columbus went, a Chinesse gent went,
Without any map or compass accompanyment.
Why his ship -the American Express
Was true to course, he'd proudly confess
"I always orient away from the Orient"
ABSURD ACE
(Did you waffle, Alex, or am I drinking too much wine?)
Last edited by jenny jenny; 06/17/2010 1:51 AM.
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Well, I had suggested "orient + express" as a continuation of the Hercule Poirot theme, but then I remembered that the original rules were that the two words were supposed to be the first and last words on an open page in a dictionary. Clearly, orient + express could not satisfy that condition.
Not that it matters really since this is all in fun.
Last edited by Alex Williams; 06/17/2010 1:29 PM.
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Can't distinguish a king from an ace
Said the joker while hiding his face
It's all up to the thief
To provide some relief
I'm struck down by this quite absurd race.
HOVER HURRICANE
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Another year and I can't take the strain
of the season we call "hurricane"
Perhaps I will hover
In bed - under cover
And come out when the weather is sane.
MOVER - MUDDLE
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I hired a furniture mover
Who sucked like a thousand-buck Hoover.
He trod ev'ry puddle;
He'd drag, drop, and muddle.
Now I'm off to buy good stain remover.
HABILE - HADES
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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"Who sucked like a thousand-buck Hoover." Wow! Now that's a line that will live forever in the vulgate (if it already hasn't).  A womanizer of words was Beck Beck amourized comely words less fleck With ladies he was habileIn hades he did babel "Heck! I shoulda been more circumspect." SOUTHERN BUG - SOW
Last edited by jenny jenny; 06/27/2010 10:37 PM.
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(That was an original, he said most humbly.)
In springtime, ol' Landry would sow
His okry and peas in a row
'Til that mean southern bug,
Like some New Orleans thug,
Tore 'em up. Now dey ain't dere no mo'.
JACKAL - JADE
Last edited by beck123; 06/28/2010 2:08 AM. Reason: change subject
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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JACKAL JADE
Moving along, a poem entitled...
Yes They Do
Rabbits like radishes
Jackals like jade
Frogs have fetishes
Dogs like shade
PERSONALITY - PERSONAL PRONOUN
Last edited by jenny jenny; 07/02/2010 2:02 PM.
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A homeless man, well known around town,
Would amble about with his fly down.
With great joviality,
His exposed "personality"
Was addressed with a personal pronoun.
PURPOSE - PUSHY
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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His affair with Ismelda was cushy,
Though it's true she could be rather pushy.
When she was, she'd get nervous,
Farting loudly on purpose.
She had perfect control of her tushy.
HERE - HERMIT
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Hmm...can't resist playing with yourself, eh Mister Beck? Well here's my reply less self-appreciating... The purpose of the word "purpose" is ambiguous.
A purpose of a purpose? How ridiculous!
I don't mean to be crass (pushy)
But you can bet your sweet ass (tushy)
That the purpose of this poem is superfluous. HERE - HERMIT
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I give it a few days, then I shoot one out there just to change the headwords. I much prefer reading other peoples' limericks than my own. I know how mine end.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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HERE - HERMIT
On a hill (it wasn't a summit)
I met not a recluse, but a hermit
I said "Why are you here?"
He said "I'm outa beer
And life is unbearable without it."
INFORMATION THEORY - IN-GROUP
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A fellow named Shannon grew weary
Of his night class on information theory.
He went out for soup
With the class's in-group,
And by 10, they were beery and cheery.
RAD - RADIO
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Okay, here we go again...
A lad we’ll call Vlad was so bad
At his French lessons, F’s all he had.
He would spell adieu “a-d-o,”
While he grooved to the radio.
Then he studied and passed, and said, “Rad.”
MAJESTY - MAKER
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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MAJESTY - TRAGEDY
Good young Bob was a majesty maker
Gave Bob my wife and he said he'd take her
But my brief majesty
Became Bob's tragedy
She shot Bob and married the undertaker
MILTON - MIND READING
Last edited by jenny jenny; 07/11/2010 2:13 PM.
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At the breakfast buffet at the Hilton,
When a scholarly fellow named Milton
Said, "I don't mind reading
Amidst all this feeding,"
His wife replied, "Just pass the Stilton."
PERSEVERE - PERSONIFY
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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PERSEVERE - PERSONIFY
I am (they say) a low down no account rake
They say (and I am) a crook, phoney and fake
But hey, if I persevere
And stop drinking beer
In a year or two I could personify a snake
I say
REDTAPE - REDUCE
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She decided she had to reduce
For the hot guy she wished to seduce,
But she couldn't escape
The dreaded red tape,
So she said, "Pass the chops - what's the use?"
INHALER - INJUSTICE
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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INHALER - INJUSTICE
In 1466 the Devil was Vlad the Impaler
In 1966 the Devil was the Hippy Inhaler
Today injustice abounds
While the Devil stands around
Our Liberator has become our Doom-a-rater
HARMONICA - HAPPY
Last edited by jenny jenny; 07/16/2010 11:38 PM.
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Harmonica baby was happy
As long as he played with his pappy.
But when Mom interfered,
His sound--off it veered!
And from then on his music was crappy.
RESTRICT--RETRO-ROCKET
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RESTRICT--RETRO-ROCKET
Why do dictionaries hyphenate "retro-rocket"?
"retro" is an adjective, a rocket is a rocket.
If only Webster would restrict
Hyphenated words, I predict
I could fit their dictionary into my shirt pocket.
PLUTONIC - POETIC LICENSE
Last edited by jenny jenny; 07/18/2010 1:57 AM.
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It's decidedly more than ironic
That people think diamonds plutonic.
They're bright carbon to my sense,
And such poetic license
Ascribes to them shadows demonic.
INCESTUOUS - INCOGNITO
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Hey--it ain't Thursday yet! 'Less you moved to the Far East.
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Its almost Friday here. The first to see the sun.
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