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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
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When I was young and arrogant this used to be one of my favorite poems: "Je suis comme le roy d'un pays pluvieux, riche mais impuissant, jeune et pourtant très vieux, ..." (Charles Baudelaire) "I am like the king of lands rainy and cold, Rich but without strenght, young yet very old, ..." (Charles Baudelaire) Link For who's interested in the problems of translating poetry it might be fun to compare these translations. None comes real near the flavor of the original, but I would really like to know which of them you consider best, independant from the French original.
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Joined: Dec 2006
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956 |
I don't doubt that the original is truer but alas french eludes me.
Here are the bits I liked from all of the versions.
I am like the king of a rainy land,
rich but sterile, young but with an old wolf's itch,
Naught can amuse him, falcon, steed, or chase:
No, not the mortal plight of his whole race
Dying before his balcony.
finding stale His favorite jester's quips, yawning at the droll tale.
his royal bed's a coffin drowned in care,
The lady's maids, to whom every prince is handsome,
No longer can find gowns shameless enough
To wring a smile from this young skeleton.
The alchemist who makes his gold was never able
To extract from him the tainted element,
even in baths of blood, Rome's legacy,
our tyrants' solace in senility,
he cannot warm up his shot corpse, whose food
is syrup-green Lethean ooze, not blood.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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[i[]Je suis comme le roi d'un pays pluvieux,
Riche, mais impuissant, jeune et pourtant très vieux,[/i]
I am like the king of a pluvial country,
Rich, but powerless, young yet very old.
Ceci n'est pas un seing.
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
Je suis comme le roi d'un pays pluvieux,
Riche, mais impuissant, jeune et pourtant très vieux
I am like the king of a rainy land,
Wealthy but powerless, both young and very old,
I am like the king of a pluvial country,
Rich, but powerless, young yet very old.
That looks certainly better and you too ignore the rhyming part here.
The reason I asked your English opinion is that to me both languages are not my own and the translations looked poorly to me. But I cannot read it in the same understanding you read it.I think it is indeed impossible to stick to the rhyme.
Thanks for your reaction. I like those two lines,ZM. Much closer to the original flavor.
Thanks Olly !
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
I am like the king of a rainy land,
rich but sterile, young but with an old wolf's itch,
Naught can amuse him, falcon, steed, or chase:
No, not the mortal plight of his whole race
Dying before his balcony.
finding stale His favorite jester's quips, yawning at the droll tale.
his royal bed's a coffin drowned in care,
The lady's maids, to whom every prince is handsome,
No longer can find gowns shameless enough
To wring a smile from this young skeleton.
The alchemist who makes his gold was never able
To extract from him the tainted element,
even in baths of blood, Rome's legacy,
our tyrants' solace in senility,
he cannot warm up his shot corpse, whose food
is syrup-green Lethean ooze, not blood.
Wow. How sad.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
Yeh, words that belong to the "weltschmerz" days, thought the language is quite beautiful.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,290
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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.I think it is indeed impossible to stick to the rhyme.
Thanks for your reaction. [...] Much closer to the original flavor.
Thank you. I went for the literal translation, and aAlthough Baudelaire uses rhyme, I just simply don't care much for it.
Ceci n'est pas un seing.
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
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and aAlthough Baudelaire uses rhyme, I just simply don't care much for it. (me neither)
Although Baudelaire uses rhyme, to me it hardly gives the sensation of rhyme. It's in translations that it more bluntly becomes rhyme. Also when translated to dutch.( thinking it over )
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Like Olly i like bits of several but to choose intact it is a toss-up between Campbell and Shanks. I don't care for Aggelar's because it feels like it should rhyme.
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