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Okay....this one is PG....
In a small Kansas town known as Lebo
Churning ice cream within a gazebo
He said with elation
"It's quite near gelation"
And posted an invite on Bebo.
LOAD - LOCAL
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When Stanley delivered his load,
Nothing was safe on the road.
He ran down some yokel,
Two deer and a local,
A tortoise, three cats, and a toad.
STICH - STIGMATIZE
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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That's a good one Beck!  Ask about accent, meter or stich, For it's true - we know which is which. Please don't stigmatizeLimericks as unwise. We just fill our "poems" full of kitsch. STREAM - STRETCH
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Pity Gomez, the unlucky wretch
Far at sea in his undersized ketch.
He woke from a dream
And fell into the stream.
One should wake up, look well, and then stretch.
FLUENCY - FLUSH
Last edited by beck123; 03/22/2010 12:47 AM.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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A wannabee linguist named Bush
Studied accents in far Hindu Kush,
But repetitive truancy
Affected his fluency,
Causing acres of fakirs to flush.
HEATH - HEAVY
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Carpal Tunnel
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A wannabee linguist named Bush
Studied accents in far Hindu Kush,
But repetitive truancy
Affected his fluency,
Causing acres of fakirs to flush.
HEATH - HEAVY Nice one 
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Why, thank you, B. I'll be off the site for a few days, but will return on Thursday.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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The Hermit on the heath by the side of the road
asked me please would I carry his load.
I said: "No, but I will
ask the Fool on the hill;
it's too heavy". Then he croaked like a toad.
RAN - OUT OF WORDS
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Out of words poets may craft a pun:
"Once in Baghdad, while buying a bun,
Heard a BANG! from a van.
Grabbed a rack, and I ran."
Why, I did it here! Son-of-a-gun.
GHOST - GIFT
Last edited by beck123; 03/26/2010 8:11 PM.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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A fellow with spirits to lift
Sought a medium, born with the gift.
Her fee was the most,
Yet she brought him no ghost:
She just "maybe'd" and "sorry'd" and "if'd."
I think that'll be my last for now - it's been fun!
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Well, don't quit, just take a coffee break!
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Here's one for Luke, using all the words in his last post here. WARNING - Off color, strong sexual content (but not too bad.) The girls all thought Heinrich a rake.
He'd screw them well - all they could take.
Just when he got off, he
Would step out for coffee,
Hearing, "Don't quit now! Just take a break!"
Last edited by beck123; 03/30/2010 12:08 AM.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Terrific!
You just cannot get them out of your system once you start, can
you? I find myself thinking in the 'beat' or 'rhythm' or whatever
it is called.
Too bad about your last one, however. Charlie is a SHE.
Sorry about that. 1/2 King Charles Spaniel/1/2 chihuahua.
That's where I got the name.
But I'm sure you can revise it. Have at it! I'm waiting
breath abated......
----please, draw me a sheep----
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Release thy breath, Master of Charlie, for I have changed the scoundrel's name.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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A spaniel (from Charles, once a king)
And a chihuahua (the poor little thing)
Were mated by force,
And the offspring, of course,
Was a mutt. And she's Luke's! Ba-da-bing!
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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My last limerick ever
I will use to endeavour
to refute the blame
on a pretty dog's name
as a lack of good taste and not clever.
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The limerick: let's not eschew it!
This thread is a good place to do it.
Perhaps we'll all soften
If we don't post so often,
But if nobody wants to, then screw it.
Last edited by beck123; 04/09/2010 10:57 AM.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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The limerick's are fun, I must say -
But I don't log online every day.
Yet now and again
(Can I get an amen?)
They bring a smile to a long, crazy day.
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Gee, ModScop is back in the saddle!
Though up the creek, she had a paddle.
If she leaves us again
For, say, five days or ten,
Then we'll just give her e-cage a rattle!
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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I wrote my check to the I.R.S.
A painful moment, I must confess.
But things could be worse,
I could be in a hearse.
I just wish that it caused less distress.
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Even knowing we are all in the same boat does not seem to help.
----please, draw me a sheep----
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The government's eyeing my wealth.
They're trying to take it by stealth:
My light bulbs, my car,
My Cuban cigar,
And now they've come after my health!
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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This has degenerated into a seldom-visited limerick thread, but I will be glad to furnish two headwords:
RISKY - ROADBED
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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I must have been out of my head
As I danced to the Grateful Dead:
The mushroom was risky
But I felt so frisky…
And woke up face down in a roadbed.
DEAL - DEBONAIR
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I like it! My wife would love it, Dead-Head that she is (was?)
They went to the Polk County fair
And felt themselves quite debonair.
They ate a great deal
Of a cheap, greasy meal,
Then, on the rides, puked in midair.
GUANO - GUERNSEY
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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When dressing your crops with fertilizer,
Bat guano's a great appetizer,
But easier to find,
It comes from behind,
And the your Guernsey cow is none the wiser!
bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk - baffle
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What the heck is THAT? I'm pretty good at limericks, but that's a serious challenge!
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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it's for sure got three many sylLAbles for a limerick.
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The "thunderclap of Adam and Eve,
When from the garden they had to leave."
It made us all baffle,
We could only haffle!
Twosleepy's smile I hope I've achieved!
PATHOLOGY - PATTERN
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Completing his work in pathology,
Benjamin made no apology:
He developed a pattern
For slaying each slattern
And compiled a killer anthology.
EYEBROW - EZRA
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Bob eyeballed his prof in psychology
Who displayed a distinctive pathology.
Her behavioral pattern
Was that of a slattern,
Which we all should now call bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnukology
Last edited by beck123; 04/21/2010 2:29 AM.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Oops! I didn't see that CB had replied to this.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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There once was a fellow named Ezra
Whose face was a terrible mess-ra,
With just one thick eyebrow.
One can see the lad now
In a clinic just outside Bethesda
(Whew, is that bad.)
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Let's go with this, instead:
Though born with just one thick eyebrow,
And lips that might work on a cow,
This ugly guy, Ezra,
Saw docs at Bethesda,
And - boy! - is he popular now!
COHESIVE - COLD CUTS
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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He likes a sandwich that's full of cold cuts.
It's easy to make - no ifs, ands or buts...
Says the mayo's adhesive
(or is that cohesive?)
But don't add onions or olives - That's NUTS!
LOOM - LOREAL
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People don't think most snakes are real cute.
When one looms from the scrub, it's a hoot.
Was it coral or viper?
(Either'd soil your diaper)
One should check for the loreal scute.
NOTEBOOK - NOURISH
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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While playing around on her notebook,
Carlita met Donald on Facebook.
In his prose amateurish
He offered to nourish
Her body and soul, as a good cook.
ECSTACY - EDITION
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A lecher named Seamus O'Casey
Showed a prudent lass, Katie C. Stacy,
His worn first edition
Of "Nuns in Perdition,"
But she found it not at all racy.
GRID - GRINDSTONE
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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When Tom's wife wanted to live "off-the-grid"
CDs and cellphones she strictly forbid.
"Nose to the grindstone!"
She said in a shrill tone.
She doesn't know there's a TV he hid.
RAMBLE - RANGE
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