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A variation that I like just as well:
We met with a deadbeat named Otis
And demanded the money he owed us.
We stood in his foyer
Along with his lawyer:
An odd nomological nodus.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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old hand
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The speech of the next candidate, who was a gardner before he entered politics, began with, "The need of the hour is layerage!" "Layerage," he said, "will lead to ... layering!"
KIT and KITSCHE
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There once was a lady named Brit
Whose bric-a-brac rack was a hit.
The woman was rich,
So - although it was kitsche -
She had ordered the whole tasteless kit.
BURYING BEETLE - BUSYBODY
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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A cute little scarabee
said: "no burying beetle for me.
He may be of use
But we're all free to choose
He's too much of a busybody. "
CARAMEL - CAMELEON
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The candy man asked the chameleon,
"So tell me, kid, how are you feelin'?"
The chameleon said, "Swell,
But your rich caramel
Has my insides all rockin' and reelin'."
GAZEBO - GELATION
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Another alternate version...
He observed it at first at aphelion,
Then the next day 'twas at perihelion.
So he said, "What the hell,
Pass the mascara, Mel.
Let's all act just like a chameleon."
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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The folks on the "poetry thread" are regaling themselves with Whitman, Yeats, and other writers of flowers and pretty scenery. (My taste in poetry leans toward cummings and Bukowski, which would probably not be appreciated there.) I bring this up because a few recent posts have sneered a bit at limericks (I actually think the "Anti-Limerick" that was posted is great.) So here's how a limerick might respond, late on St. Pattie's Day, in classic limerick style. It's offered in good humor, but not good taste, so don't read it unless you're ok with four-letter words and anatomically-unlikely suggestions. WARNING: Foul language and (affected) bad attitude:So, us limericks don't have no class?
You "poets" think us guys is crass?
Take your "O's" and your "canst's,"
Stuff them all down your pants;
And that German crap, stuff up your ass. (Somebody's going to hate me for this.)
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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It would need a bit more to create hate.  I have two volumes of cummings and learned about his existence here on this board. So bring in your cummimgses and Bukowski. Limericks are fun but I do not want to stick to the rules as the outcome tends to become predictable. Specially first lines. And I sure cannot keep up with the speed you are setting. The German poem is certainly not about flowers and pretty scenery.
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The German poem is tedious. I can read German well enough to know it sounds like something an angst-ridden "death-metal" rock band would write. It's no wonder we use the German word, Angst. They seem to have invented the emotion.
Limericks certainly do have a certain predictability, don't they? Nonetheless, I see them as happy haiku, in that they are short, require severe editing and a dollop of creativity to comply with the requisite structure. Also, like haiku, they are doggerel 99 percent of the time (particularly mine.) As with any literary form, however, there are those rare flares of brilliance, and this is (currently) my chosen form.
Nobody need stick to the rules; the rules of this thread make no mention of limericks, in fact. With that said, I think that if we submit sentences instead of limericks, there should be some constraints in addition to using the two challenge words. That's far too easy. We could specify a target number of words and/or syllables, for example. Or require a certain degree of alliteration to earn big points, since the words almost always start with the same letter. Just some thoughts to keep people engaged.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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Another very uncouth limerick, this time for "GAZEBO - GELATION" Somebody please rescue us with a PG version. WARNING. Strong sexual content (but no cuss words.)She's a big UF fan - Gator Nation!
And those daquiris? Perfect gelation!
Later, in the gazebo
(Sadly, not with Tim Tebow)
Her behavior progressed to fellation.
"I don't know which is worse: ignorance or apathy. And, frankly, I don't care." - Anonymous
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