*editorial thought: what I wouldn't give for the spell check to stop suggesting "spasm" as a substitute for "Sparteye" ...

Have you stopped to think that perhaps, just perhaps, Aenigma knows more than you believe, and that this might be a kneejerk reaction?

Which, indirectly, reminds me: A guy invents the ultimate computer, one which Shanks has stated may already be with us or which is coming soon. Anyway, to test it he asks the guy next door to ask it a question, any question, and that it was quids on that the computer would know the answer.

"All right," says the neighbour, "Tell me this: Where is my father?"

The computer hums and whirs for a few minutes (you gotta have mainframe characteristics, don'cha?) then responds, in a 1960s B-movie sci-fi sort of voice, "Your father is fishing off the end of Brighton Pier".

The neighbour snorts derisively (as you do), and says sarcastically, "My father's been dead for nearly 20 years. Some machine you got yourself, there, chum!"

The inventor thinks for a few seconds, then replies, "Well how about asking it the same question, but in a different way?"

"Okay," says the neighbour, "um, where is my mother's husband?"

Computer does some interesting-sounding things again, then gravels out "Your mother's husband has been dead for many years."

"See?" said the neighbour. "It doesn't know squ..."

But the computer hasn't finished. It hiccoughs a couple more times, then continues, "Excuse me! In spite of your mother's husband's demise, your father is still fishing off the end of Brighton Pier."

Ah well.



The idiot also known as Capfka ...