How exciting! A triple heavyweight championship fight! In this corner, weighing in at 13.6 specific gravity, we have Mercury; in the opposite corner we have Gold, at 19.3; and, standing in between, we have Osmium at an indetermined weight, but he don't care! He's champing at the bit to knock ol' Feathershoes and Gildedlegs down!

The heavyweight championship prize? An evening out with cute little Evenkite, the airhead, who spends her time sunbathing on the shores of the Tunguska.

Bets regards,
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