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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
the new Sports Editor on the Sun tabloid newspaper having banned puns
Tight ass!
wow
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
"the new Sports Editor on the Sun tabloid newspaper having banned puns"
Or maybe vice versa, panned buns from being in the hot seat?
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065 |
Rodward: the new Sports Editor on the Sun tabloid newspaper having banned puns wow: Tight ass!I don't think page 3 is within the Sports Editor's remit   . Bingley
Bingley
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,004
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 1,004 |
My view of The Sun.
1. Evil empire - it belonga Rupert Murdoch.
2. Worst rabble-rouser in the UK, hiding behind freedom of the press laws.
3. Grudgingly concede an occasional felicity with the language, uncluding the creation of some surprising 'classics' (however politically objectionable they may be). Just two front page headlines as examples:
a. Gotcha!: when the British forces sank the Belgrano during the Falklands War
b. (Against snap of Labour party leader, prior to general election) If this man wins will the last person to leave England please turn out the lights: after the Conservative party won the election (fourth in a row?), the paper crowed: It woz the Sun wot won it
I didn't google, so I may have misquoted some bits.
cheer
the sunshine warrior
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead out there!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better. Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles
around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands again, and exclaims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin"
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
here's one I discovered whilst searching for the usage of endochronic...
(This is a one of those alternate universe tales) Now Josie/backwards was much the same as the Josie we know and love, but with a few significant differences. While Josie is a timecop, Josie/backwards is a time-criminal (or a daybreaker as they call them over there). And often, in order to avoid being caught by her world's timecops, she slips across the bridge to our universe. Normally she'd merely stay out of sight, but she's such a humor lover that she was irresistably drawn to Callahan's on a Punday Night. The Patrons pride themselves on being a pretty observant bunch, but they didn't catch on to Josie -- until the winning pun of the night was offered. Doc Webster told such a stinker that Josie/backwards forgot herself, and the fact is that while the time cop Josie groans at great/awful puns, the outlaw Josie wails.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
, the outlaw Josie wails.
[groan emoticon]
I can go one similar. And this one's true. Someone I know name her child Cody William. And wondered when I just about collapsed from laughter when she told me ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
, the outlaw Josie wails.
[groan emoticon]
I can go one similar. And this one's true. Someone I know name her child Cody William. And wondered when I just about collapsed from laughter when she told me ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 164
member
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member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 164 |
One of my most favorite Shaggy Dogs,
The Story of Penny
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day,she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise.
One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back to her cabin when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn't enough, the ship chose that moment to heave to the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard.
A hue and a cry were immediately raised and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her aboard, the ship's crew realized that it was too late. Poor Penny's body was saved but she had drowned.
Normally, they would have performed a burial at sea, but Penny was a very conscientious girl, and had written a will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent's fireplace mantle.
Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned.
Rev. Alimae
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293 |
The world was suddenly PennyLess? This story belongs OVER HERE
"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world" -Michael Crichton
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