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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293 |
Speaking of parrots...
A man purchases a rare bird from an Exotic Pet Store. The store owner assures the man that this bird is intelligent and easy to care for. But, one very important caution. The upper beak grows very quickly and must be filed down on a regular basis. Failure to do this with sufficient frequency will leave the bird unable to eat and it will die.
Several weeks later the man returns to the shop asking for another bird. Frightened the shop owner gasps, "You didn't forget to file the bird's beak, did you?"
"No", the man replies. "I did as you instructed; filed the top beak."
"Funny thing though, when I took the bird out of the vise he was dead!"
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 500
addict
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addict
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 500 |
The columnist's name is Fred Loader . When he wants to tell a joke that pokes fun at a particular group, instead of using a real group (Newfies, Dutch etc) he uses the made up Fredloadian , taken from his own name.
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,713 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 10,713 Likes: 2 |
Why do I keep trying to read that as "Fredonian"?
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
Thanks Elisabeth, at last got there . Now it all makes sense  Gee ParkinT , that's a real cruel one. I almost feel sorry that I laughed so loud. I already was worried over how many minutes I could give the parrot in the icebox to get him cold , but still alive. Yours was killed flat. 
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293 |
Quote:
Yours was killed flat.
Yes. In Monty Python style!
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293 |
My favorite story goes like this:
A man and woman were on their way to get married. Along the way they were involved in a fatal automobile accident. So, they find themselves at The Pearly Gates face-to-face with Saint Peter, welcoming them in to heaven.
The woman, distraught, explains to St. Peter that they were about to be joined eternally in matrimony and deprived that joy. She asks if anything can be done. Saint Peter quickly calms her by stating that he can have a Minister of their choosing on a moment's notice.
The man, taking Saint Peter aside, expresses his reservation about marriage; eternity seems like quite a long time. He explains that on earth there is such a thing as a divorce; just in case things don't work out. "Can I have the same reassurance here?", he asks.
Thinking for quite a long time, Saint Peter explains, "We have plenty of Priests and Rabbis but NOT ONE LAWYER HAS BEEN UP HERE YET!"
"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world" -Michael Crichton
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Quote:
Why do I keep trying to read that as "Fredonian"?
For the same reason I do. 
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956 |
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
More Marxist, if you ask me.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956 |
Nothing to do with the guy who tried to claim Texas?
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