Speaking of parrots...
A man purchases a rare bird from an Exotic Pet Store. The store owner assures the man that this bird is intelligent and easy to care for. But, one very important caution. The upper beak grows very quickly and must be filed down on a regular basis. Failure to do this with sufficient frequency will leave the bird unable to eat and it will die.
Several weeks later the man returns to the shop asking for another bird. Frightened the shop owner gasps, "You didn't forget to file the bird's beak, did you?"
"No", the man replies. "I did as you instructed; filed the top beak."
"Funny thing though, when I took the bird out of the vise he was dead!"