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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
If fire hydrants have H2O on the inside, what do they have on the outside?
K9P
Oh, Branshea: if people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
(Sorry--that was from one of those pass-around e-mails.)
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 956 |
A couple of oldies but goodies:
What is a fly with no wings called? A walk!
A fly with no wings or legs? A raisin!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
where do you find a dog with no legs?
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Right were you left him.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
Quote:
K9P
Oh, Branshea: if people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
 Because , Jackie you have to take a close look at the the l's
We would be called Holls or Holles and that about the hole in the dike is just another story.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295 |
But then here's one to add.
Hollanders (Dutchmen) and Belgians have a long tradition of jokes between them. The Dutch are about thriftiness, the Belgian about dumbness. As both categories exist worldwide this one might be known already:
An angry Belgian steps into the shop where he bought a chainsaw the other week.
" Fine saw you sold me last week " , he says furiously, "It took me all weekend to saw one single tree "
"Well" . the salesman says: "Lets have a look."
He starts the chainsaw on which the Belgian gives him a queer look and asks: "Hey! what's that sound? "
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
the dutch have a reputation for 'thriftness' that extends to cheap--there are seveal idions in english that testify to this. the most famous one being "Dutch Treat" ((there is no 'treat', you get to pay for yourself!) --variation include 'going dutch' --and Poles occupy the 'not to smart' ethnic group (they share it with blondes)--but other groups have other stereotypes.
before the 1850's or so, most police departments, (or what ever civil authority there was) had "black Marias" wagons to to round up 'ladies of the night', and other criminals.
but after the irish immigrated, these became, almost universally, "paddy wagon's" --since they were put to use picking up "paddy's (drunk irishmen)
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one of my favorite set of jokes is the lightbulb series, since it gets around to insulting every ethnic group eventualy..
i know 'light bulb jokes (How many X does it take to screw in a light bulb?") that insult blondes, poles, WASP's, NYer's, jewish mothers, shrinks, programmers, Micro-soft, californians, just to name a few!
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye fokes! How is things?
And how many Troys does it take fer ta change a light bulb?
None - cos she loves ta keep ya in the dark.
Will ya spill the beans please, Missus - us Teds is just gaspen fer a few joaks here fer sure.
Be seein ya (if ya puts the lights back on, that is)
GT
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
So Ted, do you know the difference between a pregnant girlfriend and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 293 |
Quote:
So Ted, do you know the difference between a pregnant girlfriend and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
You can unscrew the lightbulb, right?
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,295
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Here's some a Belgian counterjokes: Why do the Dutch horizontal stripes on their flag in stead of vertical? (Belgian flag has veritcals) Because they can use it up all down to the flagpole. Why do the Dutch have such big nostrils? Because air is free. There is no enmity between the Dutch and the Belgians about this. We share the fun like good neighbours and they are not seen as ethnical jokes. We have no jokes about the French, some on German, no English or other Europe country jokes. And often enough we treat our Belgian neighbours (Helen  )on a whole bag of totally free , gratis French fries . With Mayonnaise!
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