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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
Today is the 100th anniversary of the death of Queen Victoria. (This ought to be commemorated by an appropriate thread, I don't know what off hand. If anyone else has one, go to it.) In her honour (Brit. spelling for the occasion), I submit: WE ARE NOT AMUSED.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 771 |
Since this thread started in a political vein, I love the pithy and brilliant:
"George W Bush, the President Dan Quayle we never had."
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094 |
"George W Bush, the President Dan Quayle we never had."
I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna say anything. . . .
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 144
member
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member
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 144 |
Wasn't it Marilyn Monroe who when asked what she wore in bed replied 'Chanel No. 5'?
One of my other favourites (I've got a vague recollection of it being attributed to Churchill and I suspect that I'm about to misquote horribly here, but hey! [insert shrugging emoticon])is:
Sir, you are drunk.
Yes madam, and you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober!
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
I may be wrong but I think W.C. Fields said that.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 10,542 |
this is one of those stories with so many variations that one wonders about the veracity of any of it... but one version that got posted was ostensibly from someone who was there and claims that Bessie Braddock said this to Churchill. "Now of course Bessie would never have said such a thing under ordinary circumstances, because no matter what you think about the English, it is not true that they are so stupid or naive as to be surprised when a
person becomes drunk at a party, and particularly not when the person is a vulgar, sensual man like Winston Churchill. In fact he was drunk, and the last time he had been drunk at one of Bessie's parties he had behaved very badly." he goes on to say that Churchill and his friends made up the story of the response the next day. "It does little credit to Winston that this was what he wished he had said, because once you get past the idea that it was a clever thing to have said on the spur of the moment (which it would have been had he said it on the spur of the moment and not made it up the following day while hung over) you realize just how devoid of real wit or quality the remark is." other versions claim that the lady in question was Lady Astor (they aren't, by some weird English coincidence, the same person, are they? :)
oh well, I would have been delighted to have thought of it the next day....
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
It was on this Board that I read:
I want to die in my sleep, like my grandpa; not yelling and screaming like his passengers.
That line still tears me up. I love it and keep it posted on my bulletin board. People usually read it once, don't quite get it (thinking it is somehow kinda deep and sincere) and then, realizing what is really said, burst out laughing.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
We are going through a lot of changes where I work. So many, in fact, that the powers that be brought in a "guest speaker" to deliver a pep talk on "change management" to help the hapless employees deal with all of the organizational changes.
A couple of weeks after the speech, which basically said, "We are changing and if you don't like it, don't let the door hit you in the butt as you leave," we were called into a meeting to ask our reactions to the speech. I stood up and said, "I was extremely disappointed, because I had had great expectations and they were dashed."
Supervisor, "What do you mean, Ted?"
Ted: "I was really hoping the first word in change management was a verb."
TEd
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
TEd !
Are you still working there? If I were in charge I'd have promoted you!
wow
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
W.C. Fields said that...(vulagarity alert for the over-sensitive): He was indubitably the author or the following, when offered a pollutant draught in his pure whisky: " Water? I never touch the stuff - fish fuck in it!" (Sorry, Max!  )
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