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Carpal Tunnel
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I just opened this week's Time magazine. The first thing I always read is the letters to the editor. They're usually either hilariously bigoted or very good. AnnaStrophic has obviously been busy spreading the use of English in Atlanta, because an Atlanta resident, Susan J. Berlin came up with this line as a response to Dubya being chose by Time as Person of the Year: Choosing George W. Bush is like writing a restaurant review after you've ordered your meal but before it has been servedAn American pal said in an email the other day that in his view: GWB has all of Forrest Gump's faults but none of his charms. Anybody else got great one-liners they'd like to share? 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but never got around to it.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
I have kleptomania, and when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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A bit of an oldie, but:
I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure!
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Choosing George W. Bush is like writing a restaurant review after you've ordered your meal but before it has been served Thanks, CapK, for the credit,  but I don't get it 
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Although they are not "new" as Capital Kiwi's sayings are I venture to offer these two favorites which I have quoted whenever the appropriate occasion arose, They are both by Finley Peter Dunne from his series of "Mr. Dooley" newspaper columns which were written in an immigrant Irish accent, hence the spellings as I am quoting accurately. "A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks th'Lord wud do if He knew th' facts iv the case." And one that has come in handy lately : "No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows the iliction results." And to give credit where it is long overdue, and in modern English, it was Dunne who said : Trust everybody but cut the cards. wow
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Anything uttered by Groucho Marx.
Among my favorites:
"You have the brain of a three-year-old, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."
"I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member."
['waggling eyebrows' emoticon]
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Joined: Nov 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 3,146 |
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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....Dubya being chose by Time as Person of the Year: Ah!!! I get it now!!! (read for context, Anna, just as you have admonished others to do)  Max, may I borrow your flagellation stick? ['taking horlicks and blankie to bed now' emoticon]
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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A spoonful of Horlicks in a glass of Scotch and I'll be fine. - J. Cleary
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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My favorite Mae West line is "Why don't you come up and see me? I got nothing on but the radio."
I also like liked Lois Wyse's line. She has an Ad agency in NY, she ran it with her husband, and when he died, suddenly (and very young) she keep the agency going, and made it a success. Some years later at a party she met a very interesting man, and told him-- "You seem to be very much like my second husband" He asked, How many time have you been married, and she replied "Once".
(they later married--)
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