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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Quote:
A chimpanzee at sea hunting whale
Scampered aloft on a sail
By the light of the moon
He chucked the harpoon
That he grasped with his prehensile tail
Besides being more accurate, monkey would have scanned better.
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,624 |
And thereby hangs a tail ...
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
This just in...
LIMA, Peru -- (AP) A coalition of New World Monkeys today protested the publication of the limerick The Banana Boat, citing biologically incorrect references that deprived them of fair inclusion into the popular verse. One marmoset commented that "Chimpanzees have prehensile toes, as any biologist knows, but their tales are truncated. That's simply how they're created. Perhaps Williams should now stick to prose." A howler monkey added, "In the poetry written by man, are all primates from the genus Pan? We platyrrhines can harpoon just fine and with care our names also scan!" The entire group then hurled feces until the author, looking ashen, apologized and agreed to edit the verse, and announced to the crowd of irate simians "I vow to be always inclusive, and eschew attitudes so exclusive in my er... trivial verse, and celebrate the diverse. (Now I see why Harper Lee's so reclusive!)"
The poem was then republished with the offending passage altered. Original copies are becoming collectors items, selling on ebay for an astounding twenty-five cents. When a mountain gorilla was asked if he was offended to be excluded from the whaling adventure entirely, he shrugged his massive shoulders and ate a banana. Meanwhile, the estate of Herman Mellville is said to be scrutinizing the work for copyright infringement.
Last edited by Alex Williams; 02/18/06 12:01 PM.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
I propose we set up a defense fund for Alex for his possibly upcoming litigation. Should the Melville estate decide against litigation, the moneys can be applied to room and board at a looney bin. 
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Quote:
This just in...
I'm still LLingOL.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
Unless you’re a crime ignoramus
You’ve heard of the Five who are Famous
But Blyton’s not yet
Written of a sextet
Nay not just one additional shamus
But she gave us the great Secret Seven
Many a dull day they’ve leavened
Perhaps solving crimes
Requires rosters in primes
Such as three, seven, five or eleven.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
Tell it to the Judge on Sunday
Father Steve the judge of belief
Presides over both sinner and thief
While some might object
Episcopalians respect
That all of his sermons are brief
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
Welcome to this old asylum
Inmates here find that words do beguile ‘em
themilum will weave
Silly webs to deceive
Faster than Father Steve can go file ‘em
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,819 |
Eustasy
From fantasy we get fantastical
From monastic arises monastical
From sure we get surely
So now I ask you demurely
Is there such as word as eustastical?
Ecclesiastical sources are mute
Prescriptivists give it the boot
But if the oceans should rise
Would they decriminalize
A word otherwise in dispute?
Potatory
Related to speech, oratory
Adventure, exploratory
The term I do think
Related to drink
Is yesterday's word, potatory
As in "Do you care for a bite
Before you retire for the night?"
"No, but as I am parched
From a long winter's march,
Potatory refreshment's just right."
So you see it pertains to the potable:
Whisky, wine, beer and such notable
Drinks as Courvoisier
Tap water and Perrier
Using it, you'll become quite quotable.
--the incorrigible Alex Williams
Last edited by Alex Williams; 02/22/06 05:28 PM.
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