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Pooh-Bah
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On Hogwash
Oh gentle readers may I present these lies?
(Though fibs would be a more forgiving name
For true lying is something to despise
And with these jesting lies we play a game)
With porcine zeal one must sniff out the truth
To tread in muck all players must be resigned
And if your pen seduces a master sleuth
I impede not the marriage of such minds
For deception is truly central to this art
Just as it is in love and also war,
The tone as much as the act must play its part
Like the cries of passion of a whore
A sennight now I have received your notes
The candidates do now await your votes
* * * * * * * *
a) Sifted gravel
b) Rock outcropping in the wake of glacial retreat.
c) Unit of capacity equal to one half firkin.
d) Slang: a motorcycle that doesn't quite measure up to a Harley Hog.
e) Hoggin, or haughin: (Scots) a low lying meadow in a river valley.
f) The stand in a brewery on which rests the large vessel for brewing and storing ale (the "hogshead")
g) The barrel of ale provided for harvesters to toast the "old woman" (the last sheaf) after the harvest
h) Colloquialism: ice cream with half the standard fat content
i) A squaredance hoedown where the single men can claim their partners for the entire night by being first to ask the lady for her company.
j) (noun): A now-obsolete wooden device used to remove the residue that builds up around the edges of cast-iron cookware. Consuela broke her hoggin when attempting to clean a singularly old and oft-used frypan.
k) Street slang for bodybuilders who overuse the steriod "homogin". Overdosing occasionally leads to violence and aggression.
l) To drive or go for a ride on a motorcycle without a specific destination. To go hoggin
m) A horned helmet
n) A box that will hold at least four hods of coal.
o) The wool from a young, previously unshorn sheep.
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veteran
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"The cries of passion of a whore"? I cry I. But don't call me a whore. 
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Carpal Tunnel
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TEd
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Carpal Tunnel
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Firkin hell, these are all good! I've Cn the light, though.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Brilliant sonnet, Alex!! [/applause]
I like the two ale-related ones; let's see.... eeny meeny miney G
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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TEd is that a vote for O or simply a lamentation?
Thanks Anna! And let it be known that milum is no whore.
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TEd
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Carpal Tunnel
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Quote:
But don't call me a whore.
Nope, you were the one with the hoe (crossthreading shamelessly).
TEd
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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formerly known as etaoin...
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Carpal Tunnel
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What the F.
Nice pome, Alex. The muse definitely showed up..
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Carpal Tunnel
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In my deep-fat sotted state, I'm thinking C.
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addict
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E - no, wait, O - no, definitely E . Yup, E 
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G sounds almost impossible to contrive, but...something about N is pulling me toward it. I'll take N for a hod of coal.
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Pooh-Bah
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Well, g is for great and in-gee-nyus; o is convincing, but I'll pick a.
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Carpal Tunnel
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well, let's see. a hogshead *is a large cask, equal to four firkins or two kilderkins -- so that leads to c, f, and g.
and the Brits call a young sheep a hoggerel(?), I think until it's been first shorn, which leads directly to o. then you got your Harley, which leads to d and l.
have I covered all the armils®?
actually, I have a stinking hunch it might actually be o. <cough>
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Carpal Tunnel
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O well, I'll put another wheel on the hoggin wagon...
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addict
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I ran this word by my David (as opposed to all the other Davids I know) and he unerringly picked out the definition I'd written, saying merely "I know you". Me, I thought there were three definitions here that sounded like ones I coulda wroten. 
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veteran
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I understand that if Hogwash had rules the rules wouldn't allow me to change my vote so instead I will bust the cabal that has corrupted this round of Hogwash. As follows... (1) On a thread entitled "words that do not describe themselves"tsuwm referred the illuminati to his website list of worthless words. (2) tsuwm then provided a convenient link to the section "H" of his word list which focused on the word "herterological", which means "words that do not describe themselves". (3) Then an unmentionable poster said "Don't let the cat out of the bag!" but tsuwm said "If there are 37 listings, I'll be number 37." (4) And sure enough Hogwashers, if you count the "H" list from the bottom, number 37 is... hoggerel : [Brit] a young sheep Disgraceful! 
Last edited by themilum; 02/12/2006 2:56 PM.
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Given the intent of the game (if there *artfully is one), the goal of tsuwm's website and his vast experience with worthlessness of the word-kind, and our collective knowledge of his gritty intrigue (aka-integrity) AND bone-dry wit... we couldn't just exclude him from the game (lol x2)... why would we? I suppose it would make more sense to just stop because some unforseen rule may apply... yet, *you know what we think about any kinda those, eh!? ps - It does look like themilum is responding to some post-facto research... dud'nit? 
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on the contrary, amilum, #37 (from the bottom) is honorificabilitudinitatibus; but then that's probably a word beyond your ken.
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And as far as we know, tsuwm might could have been trying to con people into voting for his submission.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Dat's right, children. There are not nearly enough substantive things in the world about which to be outraged -- infant mortality, starvation, the exploitation of underclasses, the subjugation of women, environmental destruction, fat people who nonetheless wear Spandex -- so let us, by all means, get our knickers in a knot about this one.
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Lighten up, Hogwashers, I was kidding when I accused tsuwm of being the Grand Wizard of the Illumninati. But you Obvestites had best ask yourselves why Hogmaster Alex put definition "O" at the end of the list. Alex Williams is quite the trickster. 
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Carpal Tunnel
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Quote:
But you Obvestites had best ask yourselves why Hogmaster Alex put definition "O" at the end of the list.
Alex Williams is quite the trickster.
Because there were fifteen definitions?
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Quote:
But you Obvestites had best ask yourselves why Hogmaster Alex put definition "O" at the end of the list.
Alex Williams is quite the trickster.
I was just trying to pull the wool over your eyes and lead you up the garden path.
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enthusiast
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I'll stand by g) 'til it's dry
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Carpal Tunnel
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Well--not having a clue as to which one is the real one, and seeing so many votes for certain ones, I'll say D since nobody else has, and so I can say that I have it on very good authority that if you go riding on a Harley you'd best have your tool kit with you.
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journeyman
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journeyman
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Wow, it's been quite a long time since I've perused these forums. I wonder how many of you Old hands remember me!
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Carpal Tunnel
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A year and eleven days is a long time to pause for breath.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Sure do, Hon. Are you still in school anywhere?
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Pooh-Bah
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Looking over the votes, it appears that all submitters except for Logwood and gonoldothrond have cast their votes. Once those votes are in I will post the results.
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journeyman
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journeyman
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I took the year off after graduating high school; as my interest in mathematics slowly declined and my interest in linguistics slowly rose, I feared that four years in a technical, quantitative environment might not be appropriate. So now I'm applying to a bunch of liberal arts schools that I probably won't get into, haha.
And yes, a year is quite a long time to pause for breath. Thank God I'm not a smoker...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Thank God I'm not a smoker...
God thanks you, too. The Creator gets grumpy when we trash the creation, including ourselves.
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Quote:
God thanks you, too. The Creator gets grumpy when we trash the creation, including ourselves.
Ah, you'll go far in the preachin' business, Father Steve.
The average Joe would have pause trying to work a sermon into a friendly game of Hogwash. 
Last edited by themilum; 02/16/2006 11:06 AM.
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Quote:
Looking over the votes, it appears that all submitters except for Logwood and gonoldothrond have cast their votes. Once those votes are in I will post the results.
These two may be a while, Alex. The latter doesn't post very often to begin with. The former was attacked by the local bully on a question he'd asked in trying to better understand the foreign language he excels in, English. Haven't seen him since. But yeah, please do wait a little longer.
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Carpal Tunnel
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Think we should write to him, Anna?
EDIT --so as not to create a new post:
I just sent him a PM.
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I thought of that, Jackie, but there's no E-mail on his profile (let's take any further comments on this private so as not to hijack any more than I already have!  )
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Gee.
Maybe you could send Logwood a Private Message of apology on the Awad PM system.
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