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Hey, plutarch, did your prescription run out?
TEd
"moss" is a sock puppet (pseudonym) for an individual who has been banned by management from this site. Apparently, he has taken the trouble to find another computer from which to post. He uses other pseudonyms as well, including "plutarch" "carpathian" and several more. Apparently, he has seen fit to find another computer from which to post. It is generally believed that it is his intention to destroy this board.
Au contraire, I agree with Insel - it's a spoonerism, and apparently one of the original Spooner-isms.
As far as I am aware this is the original:
Dr Spooner was an Oxford don, and he was admonishing a wayward student:
"Sir, you have deliberately tasted two whole worms. You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and you have been caught fighting a liar in the quad. You will leave by the next town drain!"
Too's where?!
Sounds to me too polished to be the "real" original. Though you never can tell.
My impression (unsubstantiated) was that the original went, "Mardon me, Padam, you're occupewing the wrong pie. Let me sew you to another sheet!" There is a certain consistency to this hypothesis; he was the Reverend Spooner, remember...
Reverend Spooner
by Jerry H. Jenkins
Reverend Spooner's words amuse;
at times they scare, sometimes they tickle.
He went riding in the pews
upon his new well-boiled icicle.
Queen Victoria came to town.
He was pleased she'd graced the scene,
so raised a toast to country, crown,
and, of course, "Our queer old dean."
Reverend Spooner was a charmer
and his words flowed out like oil:
He spoke in praise of England's farmers
as "those noble tons of soil".
Students' pranks aroused his choler.
Grumpy Spooner, man of God,
rebuked a pyrotechnic scholar
for "fighting a liar in the quad".
To a slacker, Spooner spoke
in a voice of mournful texture:
"Being tardy's not a joke:
You have hissed my mystery lecture."
He went on, in anger frowning:
(How the hapless student squirms,
reprimanded for his clowning):
"You have tasted two whole worms!"
He was always full of grace,
polite to all he chanced to meet.
To one who took the Reverend's place:
"May I sew you to another sheet?"
But fell upon his verbal lance
when he claimed (this man devout):
"When our boys come home from France,
we will have the hags flung out."
http://www.ablemuse.com/2k/jhjenkins-spooner.htm
In the 1930s here was published/broadcast a series of short selections, some fairy tales and some Aesop's Fables, all Spoonerized: My Tale is Twisted, by Col. Lemuel Stoopnagle (pseud). (The practice was modernized decades later by political satirists The Capitol Steps - they called them "Lirty Dies"...but I digress.)
Only a couple of years ago the Stoopnagle volume was re-issued and is still available - see http://www.stoneandscott.com/humor.asp. Your local library may have it too, or be able to get it for you. "The Mion and the Louse" and "The Pee Little Thrigs" are classics.
Another reportedly original Spoonerism comes of his occupying the middle flat (set of rooms, actually) on a certain stair, with Professor Hedlam above him and Professor Bell below. You can see it coming! On being asked how he liked his digs, he replied, "Oh, it's very jolly, what with Bedlam above and Hell below!".
ADRW
ADRW
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