If either of you had troubled .... you would have found Aeromancy (or Anemoscopy)

Never one to blow a divine opening, tsuwm, may I take this opportunity to introduce you to one of my recent contributions to OEDILM.com?

"Passing gas is not that impolite,"
Said my father one cold, windy night.
"You have nothing to fear
From a fart blown so near.
Anemophobia is the name for your fright."

Author's Note:

Some people are surprised that others are disquieted by their boisterous crepitations. They attribute such reactions to anemophobia, an irrational fear of drafts or wind.