Now--Nick (say so if you don't like that shortening)
Well I don't complain, but it's not my name. I never use it.

Law-French: the continuance of Norman French in legal and administrative terms, with characteristics such as N A combinations with plural Ns A, as court(s) martial, governor(s) general, durance vile, even malice aforethought; and infinitives in -er as nouns, such as rejoinder, misnomer, demurrer, and many others I can't think of too numerous to mention; and actual French phrases such as mort d'ancestor and lese-majesty, which should not be given their modern French prounciation.

Tail-end spoonerism: I don't think it's just a phonetic thing, but it has undergone several stages of unconscious grammatical reanalysis, along these lines:

-- "goods inward" is a single lexical item
-- it's plural
-- so it must end in -s
-- it only has one s
-- so it must be "good inwards"
-- and that sounds okay, as if analogical with "good news", "good intentions"