Vernon:
This is what the writer said:
For a while, the sun will be blotted out completely as the eclipse moves across the open Pacific, but it will be visible only to people at sea.
I know that these people are writing to deadlines, but it takes only a couple of more seconds to use one's brain to think about what one wants to say.
I would have said:
For a while the moon will completely blot out the sun as the shadow moves across the open Pacific.
Or:
The total eclipse phase will follow a path across the open Pacific from point a to point b.
Both of these are active voice, short and sweet and do not condescend by telling you that only people who are in the sea will be able to see the total eclipse. It already said "across the open Pacific."
Yes, I'm a proud prescriptivist. But not prideful. Well not too. Most editors I have known would have said, "Strike one," and at strike three would have been inclined to can the reporter.
TEd
PS
Betsy, no need to check your meds. I took them for you.
TR
