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Thank you Plutarch, it is largely you who gives me occasion to drink. Take right now for instance... I am sober and as dry as a...uh...judge, and I find your short poem above tightly written with gentle wit and textbook rhyme. But with you I can't be sure that within those seemingly innocuous lines are not deep messages of import, messages for the human spirit about revealed meanings of man and his soul. I think deeper when I drink; so thank you for your kind and generous obscurity. 
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I think deeper when I drink
I wonder, themilum. Are you thinking deeper, or just sinking deeper?
There is a point beneath which your anchor will not catch. It's called the "byssus"*. After that, only the abyss is with us.
re "it is largely you who gives me occasion to drink". Perhaps so, themilum, but is it me who gives you occasion to drink so largely? Perhaps if you only awarded bottles for First Place and left the other places to fend for themselves.
In any case, your accolade does not put me out of spirits. [It won't put you out of spirits either, unless it puts you out of pocket first.]
It was W. C. Fields who said:
"My wife drove me to drink. It's the only thing I can ever thank her for."
* With acknowledgements to Dr. Bill for "the byssus" [in Wordwind's "cast away" thread].
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Carpal Tunnel
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>It was W. C. Fields who said:
"My wife drove me to drink. It's the only thing I can ever thank her for."
Actually it was my father, who often drove around with Fields when he was on a toot in the Twin Cities. He (my father) always swore that he was with Fields on more than one occasion when he opened bank accounts in strange names, which neither of them could remember the next day.
Another time, Pop and Mae West drove through a snowstorm to get her from Minneapolis to Chicago for a performance. Pop said the best performance was in the motel they had to spend two nights in during the trip. But he always WAS a braggart. One of his favorite lines was, "I'm not always as good as I once was, but I'm once as good as I always was."
TEd
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Actually it was my father, who often drove around with Fields
So, it was your father who drove Fields to drink. Too bad his wife got all the credit for it.
Did your father also have a taste for wine? W.C. Fields was always heard complaining: "Who stole the cork outta my lunch!"
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Carpal Tunnel
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Actually the cork he was talking about was on a whiskey bottle. Fields was apparently a pretty serious alcoholic and went for the quantity of alcohol per cc, not the quality.
TEd
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Let's raise a toast to great thinkers Fields and Gleason and other famed drinkers. Omar was one Who was never outdone And his Rubaiyat is the proof of his clinkers. What without asking, hither hurried whence?
And without asking, wither hurried hence?
Another and another cup to drown
The memory of this impertinence.BTW "clinkers" is a good word because you can have your way with it according to your druthers: From A-H online: Slang. Something of inferior quality; a conspicuous failure: a clinker of a show. Chiefly British. Something admirable or first-rate. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=clinker
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Pooh-Bah
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I never can make a good rhyme.
I cannot make a meter in time.
And limericks? No way.
Both poetry and play?
I will drop them like a bowling ball on my toe. Ouch.
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Sparteye has little time for funning
And few of his rhymes are that cunning.
But if you need an attorney
On a long, legal journey
Sparteye's meter will never stop running.
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Dear Sparteye, I thought your poem well consructed with tasteful whimsy that led to the perfect off-timing and the delightful surprise in the refreshing sentiment of your concluding line. Thank you. And Putarch, lawyer jokes are no longer appealing.  If you want to tell a good rhyming lawyer joke you must put in a reference to a snake.
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lawyer jokes are no longer appealing
Hey, themilum:
It's OK to make fun of a lawyer's rhyme
As long as you pay him for his time.
Besides:
He can always appeal to the court
If he thinks your joke is a tort.
You got us all wrong, themilum. We aren't snakes. We're sharks. :) [Snakes have thin skins. Sharks don't.]
Which reminds me:
Did you hear the one about the guys who were lost at sea in a life-raft? They were nearly dead when they drifted within sight of a deserted island. Only one problem: the life-raft was surrounded by sharks.
There was a lawyer on board. He didn't hesitate for a moment. He dove in and the sharks escorted him safely to shore.
"What's that all about?, one of the guys on the life-raft sputtered in amazement. "Professional courtesy", the lawyer's buddy replied.
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My dear Plutarch, if you must promote your profession with lawyer jokes, please keep in theme and promote in rhyme. Forgive me, Father Steve, not so much for what I am about to say
but for my enjoyment in saying it oh so much. I know this is true I saw it on Drudge
Science has finally classified lawyers;
They are the larval stage of a Judge. 
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larval stage
Themilum, do you really want to get "larval"* with Sparteye?
He didn't make much of his own poem, but he could make a bunch outta yours! It's called libel, themilum.
Your judgeship could get benched for your wit, when Sparteye comes down with his writ. [Just say it was a "typo".]
Actually, "larval stage" is kinda cute, themilum. I'm just glad I didn't write it. :)
I don't wanna do time for my rhyme.
I just wanna have a good time.
* You never wanna bite at anything which can bite back, themilum. That goes for insects ["larval" or not] and especially for "snakes" and "sharks". :)
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More likely Sparteye will sue me for intimidation, Lawyer Plutarch, I am of the people and you lawyers build your nice summer homes on thin ice. Besides, the punch line of the joke is actually this... Lawyers are the larval stage of politicians!I changed "politician" to "Judge" because the word "politician" didn't rhyme with "Drudge". Sue me.
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Sue me.
How can you sue the Judge?
Guess you called my bluff, huh?
Does this mean I am permanently relegated to Place Two in a field of two?
What about a field of one?
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Aw shoot, Plutarch, sure I forgive you. For one thing you seem to share my common sense approch to judging. Hey, I just had a great idea! Let's go all out! Let's buy only the best of wines as our poetry prizes. Money is no object. But that's not the good part. What we'll do is name each bottle of wine in honor of one of the the ladies of this board. In other words the prize for the best poem without cheating might be called the " Jackie". Get it? Sorta like the Oscars but instead of a trophy our prize would be an expensive bottle of vintage wine. Good idea huh? What do you think?
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Good idea, themilum. Why not have the ladies take up a collection.
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Good idea, themilum. Why not have the ladies take up a collection. - PlutarchWhat's with you Plutarch, are you from Mars? Ladies don't take up collections; men do. Don't you want to be popular? Spring for the bucks! 
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Themilum's Spring Collection
Perhaps we're straying a little off topic here, themilum.
AnimiaL might have another limerick to post. Or even Sparteye. Well, perhaps not Sparteye. I think it'll be a while before he gets over your last review. [And who can blame him?]
Maybe we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. Do we really need all these labels? Perhaps we only need a label for "Place Two". It's the only entry we can really count on, you know. No point in wasting all that wine.
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journeyman
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A pixie, once joyful and merry
Mistook a time bomb for a cherry!
As the time bomb was ticking...
(I know what you're thinking)
...This poem ends most airy fairy.
Yup, airy fairy meaning impractical (or ridiculous, I guess, in this case) and also airy because... well the fairy exploded.
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We don't need to wait for themilum to judge that one, A-L. You've broken a couple of meddlesome rules and taken this art form to a whole new level. KA-BOOM! A worthy tribute to "Heere's Johnny!" on his way out. Did you know Johnny Carson's Show by the way - presumably from reruns?
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Pooh-Bah
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I might be a snake or a flea
I might be a larval queen bee
Or even so sharkish
With toothies quite sharpish
But I'm most definitely sure NOT a he.
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I'm with you, Sparteye... I'm not a snake or a flea I'm not a larval queen bee Not even a shark Nor lovingly lark, But I'm definitely not sure I'm a he.
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"Horrors!", I swear, "It's a curse!"
What gender-bendering verse!
Is Sparteye no he?
Themilum a she!
Mars and Venus, "Egads!", in reverse!
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I've fully succumbed to my inclination to make up words as I see fit. I know enough Greek and Latin roots to engineer a completely logical word when I can't think of the appropriate terminology.
AnimiaL, Jan 29/05
AnimiaL has a greek tool kit
With latin to make any fit
In any old rhyme
At any old time.
Coming soon! "AnimiaL's limerick retrofit".
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