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How about a limerick for the most unessential, essential person involved in movie-making:
the critic.
Every movie has a critic. If there weren't any critics, there wouldn't be any reviews. And if there weren't any reviews, there wouldn't be many views.
So, you see, any kind of criticism is welcome criticism.
You could say a damning critic is their own worst enemy. :)
A "Smash!" isn't a "Smash!" without news
So a critic is our ticket to views.
If they love us, we love 'em
If they hate us, we love 'em
'Cause nothing succeeds like reviews.
"Smash" brings to mind the work of the "stuntman".
Let's hear it for the stuntman
Who'll risk life and limb if he can
Add a thrill, as the star
Reclines safely afar
Bloody make-up streaking his tan.
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Today's AWAD is stuntman so I've got today's ALAD off 'cause I did "stuntman" yesterday.
So why not a little soft shoe?
I know I'm going to regret this because a poet is never supposed to poke fun at poets who poke fun at him. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I guess you could call it "poetic injustice", or maybe it's "poetic justice", depending on your point of view.
Besides, this is not an official ALAD. It's just an ALAD which has fallen off the beaten path. [And I know I'm going to take my usual beating for it anyway. But I hope not 'cause it's not supposed to be taken seriously. Seriously.]
There's always a critic tut-tuttering
Any limerick with a "sniff" "sniff" of smuttering.
If there's no whiff of smut
You're not out of the rut
You're just back to head butt rebuttering.
OK, I'm weak, but it's the end of the week. So scoff 'til you cough, it's my ALAD day off, and my rhyme is on my own time. :)
Come to think of it, I think I've got a stuntman limerick for today after all, and I think I'd better get it off my chest. That way I'll just get one beating for this dual post, not one now, and another one later. :)
There are hidden rewards for the stuntman
Who stands in for the leading man
He'll take every punch
He's always there in a crunch
He'll even double for an adorable fan.
BTW I'm kinda hoping that the theme for Anu's AWAD next week will be the most essential people in the healthcare industry. That way we could use some of the lessons we learned this week to warm up for next week. For instance:
You should always take your medicine
It will help to cleanse the sin
Of being so smutty
Or rutty or nutty
You belong in the "Weekly Themes" bin.
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I want to write a limerick about "the beaten path".
I've got to tell you, this is the toughest house in the land to catch a break. You know what they say about New York: "If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere." Well, that lyricist never tried his luck at AWADtalk, that's for sure.
But, you know, some of the best mentors are the sternest task masters. It may feel like flogging when you're dogging or you're slogging, but these wordtaskers could be your best friends in disguise. Does that come as a surprise? It did to me.
And who are the sternest taskmasters of all, if not our enemies, who want us not to succeed, but to fail. Our friends accept us as we are. But our enemies demand of us more than we are.
So that's why I am indebted to all my friends at AWADtalk. But, most of all, I am indebted to my enemies. My friends I love. My enemies I salute.
The beaten path can beat you up, or beat you down. But it can never beat you out.
The well worn path to success
Is not the path you might guess
It isn't the wear
That will lead you there
It's the wear you surmount in distress.
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"So that's why I am indebted to all my friends at AWADtalk. But, most of all, I am indebted to my enemies.Well maybeso Plutarch, but as the self-annoited judge of the poems posted here you might best learn to suck up to your friends as well as your so-called enemies. Thus far I have found your poems tainted with suppressed spite and self-righteous indignation. Perhaps if you would spread some of that compassion that you feel for your detractors towards me who judges, you might flatter the me into seeing your scant doggerel in a more favorable light. And perhaps if you had condescended and flattered your enemies they would be your friends today. But I doubt it. 
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Perhaps if you would spread some of that compassion that you feel for your detractors towards me who judges
You have me on the horns of a dilemma, themilum.
If I flatter you, however deserving the praise, there will be those who see you, as "the self-annointed judge", as amenable to flattery, which, of course, you are not.
And, if I accede not to your valued advice by acclaiming not your talents and your virtues, then you will judge me recalcitrant and animated by the negative emotions you have already perceived in my limericks, so that even if I should labor to extirpate from my rhyme any trace of angst, you will judge my output still tainted by ignoble pride, and your judging of my rhyme will be the harsher for it.
But I find myself in no such quandry in accepting your prudent advice that I "condescend" and "flatter" my enemies.
I acknowledge the merits of my 'enemies', themilum, but it is not with "condescension" that I do so, but with alacrity and joyfulness for the gifts they share with us, nor is it with "flattery" that I acknowledge them, but, instead, with sincerity and gratitude.
How I might feel personally about my 'enemies', themilum, has absolutely nothing to do with their wordsmithing or poems or intellectual insights or scholarship or meditations on high principles, so long as that flowering of mind is not befouled by some unprovoked invective or innuendo or injustice directed against me personally, or against anyone else.
For what does the pure essence of a sound have to do with the instrument which gave vent to it, if one is attentive only to the sound itself?
Besides, themilum, my 'enemies" are my 'enemies' in single quotes only. They are only my 'enemies' because they judge me their enemy.
I have no enemies here, themilum. And I am indebted, as I have said, to those who have denounced me as their enemy for they have given me extraordinary cause and ambition to improve myself.
And for that, I salute them.
I can't "defeat" my 'enemies', themilum. Why would I even want to? Like sand in an oyster, they can only bring out the best in me, in every sense of that term.
In any case, they have ever bit as much right to post here peacefully and peaceably as I do -- as you do, as we all do. :)
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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And perhaps if you had condescended and flattered your enemies they would be your friends today.Keep your friends clothed and use your enemy's clothier? ********* And, if I accede not to your valued advice by acclaiming not your talents and your virtues, then you will judge me recalcitrant and animated by the negative emotions you have already perceived in my limericks, so that even if I should labor to extirpate from my rhyme any trace of angst, you will judge my output still tainted by ignoble pride, and your judging of my rhyme will be the harsher for it.
- and -
...so long as that flowering of mind is not befouled by some unprovoked invective or innuendo or injustice directed against me personally, or against anyone else.Not to be hyper-critical (or anything similar) but these two statements, even as they bounce off one another, carry the weight of an 'ell-uv-a-lot-a assumptions. ******** I have no enemies here, themilum.Given this to be true, doncha think the subject would be better served approached in the place where *they are? Just a thought. 
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Not to be hyper-critical (or anything similar)
You're not.
I never said I was perfect [in my meter or my manners -- both can always be improved, and there is certainly no shortage of people around here to give me instruction in both -- hey, that's a joke, but it does seem something of a mystery to me that my conduct is the only conduct that would benefit from improvement].
It seems I am caught in Goethe's "push-pull" [brought to us yesterday by BY in "nolens volens"], musick.
I am as determined not to be "pushed" away unjustly, as I am "pulled" to meet the high expectations for improvement of the many good people I respect around here, including you.
Those who want me to succeed in this endeavour are more of an encouragement to me than those who want me to fail.
To leave after trying so hard to succeed would be as much of a failure as reverting to the vicious cycle which never succeeded for anyone before.
I will not leave, as a matter of principle, musick. And I will not participate in any further hostilities, as a matter of principle. If there is a winner in this, it isn't me. It's the Board.
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Some passing moods make us furious;
Still others take a turn far more serious.
When filled with such hate
You need to sedate
You are suffering from odium delirious.
Today's AWAD is "odium".
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 95
journeyman
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journeyman
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An enemy, burning with odium
Filled my cold drink with pure sodium.
When I started to dine,
"Yuck, gas!" I repined...
Then I rushed to go find some Imodium.
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odium and repined
A single and a double, AniamL!
You should go for the limerick bicycle ... if you're so inclined.
Re "Imodium":
Dr. Bill [wwh] reports as follows:
This is name of a product of well known pharmaceutical house, a medication to treat diarrhea. Maybe I even prescribed it sixty years ago.
Now, what "enemy" would want to cure you of your verbal diarrhea, AniamL? You would think they would want to give you more of it. :)
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