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#132251 09/12/04 12:37 PM
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JUST IN Stars make tiny dogs latest Big Thing By Elizabeth Large
Baltimore Sun

Grapho ruffled some of the legacy plummage around here so we sent him packing [and "Good riddance!", I might add] but his colossal gall aside, he was on to a good thing in bringing us regular up-dates of the derring do's of the "so haute" heiress.

[We may persecute presumption around here, but we are smart enough to relieve our outcasts of their valuables before we run them out of town. ]

Paris gets tales wagging again!

http://www.cincypost.com/2004/09/11/dog09-11-2004.html


#132252 09/12/04 02:27 PM
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For those who are still curious about "the other" Paris, we bring you this:

http://www.latimes.com/travel/columnists/postcards/


#132253 09/17/04 12:02 PM
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JUST IN Paris says cooking is "hot"!!!

Get out your aprons, ladies. Paris has just "unveiled" her haute frau side!!!

PARIS UNVEILS KITCHEN SKILLS
"She [Paris] says, "I'm the best cook. I'm such a good cook. If you're an heiress you should be able to cook. It's hot."

I can see them now:

Paris Hilton oven mitts crowned with the famous tiara and the legend "Cooking is hot!".

What could be hotter than that!!!

Burger King eat your heart out. [Or better yet, bake your cardboard tiara.]

http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/PARIS HILTON UNVEILS KITCHEN SKILLS


#132254 09/17/04 01:15 PM
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Paris Hilton oven mitts

Did we say "oven mitts"? That is SO un-haute!!!

"Oven gloves" [but, of course] with lots of finger room for haute faux heiress rings fitted with haute faux heiress diamonds.

It opens up a whole new category: haute faux frau!!!


#132255 09/19/04 11:21 AM
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journeyman
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Gotti takes a hit.

Paris turns Victoria Gotti's world upside-down by wacking her boys.

"Who the [bleep] are the Gottis?" Hilton reportedly said.

Careful, Paris! Some "hits" can hit back. [Just kiddin', Victoria. ]

Is Paris an heirhead, or does she really have cohonas?

Read all about it, fans. Haute huff or haute bluff?

Will Paris be doing her next cover spread spread out under a cover?

Is this the beginning of a new reality TV series? I can see it now:

CELEBRITY HITS: She did the world. Now she does the underworld.

Paris Hilton suffers from situational amnesia!
New York September 08, 2004 2:21:20 PM IST


Paris Hilton left reality TV star Victoria Gotti fuming after she refused to meet Gotti and her boys - John, Carmine and Frankie at a nightclub in Miami.

According to New York Daily News, Victoria had brought her sons to the nightclub Mansion specifically to meet their fellow reality TV star Paris, and even sent over a security guard to inform Hilton of their arrival but Hilton refused to met them.

"Who the [bleep] are the Gottis?" Hilton reportedly said. [OUCH!!!]

"I've helped that girl. She came to me after her sex-tape scandal and I did a story where she got to defend herself. Remember? 'Paris: I'm Not a Tramp!' For her to say she doesn't know me or my boys is ridiculous. And if she wants to say you don't know me, then at least be polite," Victoria was quoted as saying. (ANI)



#132256 09/21/04 11:06 AM
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People are selling Paris' Tinkerbell posters on eBay. "That was so mean!", Paris says.

There's a lesson in this Wannabes. It's OK to be haughty - as in "Who the [bleep] are the Gottis" - but never be "mean".

"Mean" is about as low as you can go, haute people. Be a haughty hottie, just like Paris.

Wednesday, 8 Sep 2004
"Hotel heiress Paris Hilton is horrified to learn posters she placed around Hollywood in search of her Chihuahua Tinkerbell have now ended up on auction website eBay. Hilton's beloved pooch went missing last month and turned up a week later after the blonde beauty offered a $5,000 reward on a string of posters. She says, "People were selling them on eBay! They took them all down. I saw it on eBay. That was so mean!"




#132257 09/22/04 11:33 AM
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JUST IN Paris fights for animal rights ... her own, of course.

Paris is fighting to keep her pet ferrets, Dolce and Gabbana. It's not legal in California to keep ferrets as pets. "I don't think that's a fair law", Paris says.

Does this signal a major move into haute activism, Wannabes?

I can see it now:

Paris Hilton animal shelter-suites.

Give your outlawed anaconda a five star Hilton suite.

It's not "fair" that cute little critters should have to live in the streets with unkempt street 'people'.

Maybe Arnie will take up the cause, Paris reasons. Arnie played opposite a ferret in "Kindergarten Cop".

HILTON FIGHTS TO KEEP FERRET PETS
Socialite Paris Hilton is calling for California Governor Anold Schwarzenegger's help as she fights to keep her pet ferrets.

The hotel heiress let slip that she owns two ferrets, called Dolce and Gabbana, when she recently appeared on Jay Leno's "The Tonight Show." Californians are banned from keeping ferrets as pets.

So now, Hilton is hoping to change the law and is joining a group urging Schwarzenegger, who co-starred with a ferret in "Kindergarten Cop," to give lovers of the animals in his state a break.

She says, "I wish there was a law that ferrets were legal because I don't think that's a fair law."

The proposed law that Hilton is backing would give ferret owners amnesty for vaccinated, neutered ferrets.

http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/dailydish/




#132258 09/24/04 12:41 PM
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Carpal Tunnel
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has been going on for years. The Beatles sang a protest song about the Liverpool City Council's decision to send "Ferrets 'Cross the Mersey."



TEd
#132259 09/24/04 02:23 PM
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Check your Pacemakers, TEd


#132260 09/24/04 03:10 PM
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I hope they're not jerry built, (cross threading pun).


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