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You can't agree to that, Grapho!
Oh, yeah! It's easy for you to say, Wordminstrel. If I get wacked, are you gonna be my "wingman"?
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If I get wacked, are you gonna be my "wingman"?
Well, let's see what Plutarch has to say about this?
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Well, let's see what Plutarch has to say about this?
Where's Plutarch?
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Well, let's see what Plutarch has to say about this?
Look, Grapho. I got nothing against no Viet Cong.
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Well, it looks like you've really done it now, Grapho.
Maybe we can negotiate some concessions. How about any Carpal Tunnel except ...
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How about any Carpal Tunnel except ...
Yeah, I can go along with that. Any Carp but him. We've got to be able to defend ourselves.
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How about any Carpal Tunnel except ...I'll give it a try, guys. Looks like themgmt has got us over a barrel ... a double barrel.  OK, themgmt. Here's the deal. We lay off all the Carpal Tunnels except ....
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We lay off all the Carpal Tunnels except ...
Even him, Grapho ... if he's not Falosophizing.
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if he's not Falosophizing
Or Falubricating.
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Or Falubricating
Or Falmufflegating.
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Or Falmufflegating
Or Faltificating.
[Falmufflegating???]
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OK, OK! It's a deal!And let there be no Falduggery about this, either! 
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I'm glad that's out of the way, Grapho.
Let's get back to the "Haute Hum", OK?
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Let's get back to the "Haute Hum", OK?OK, the mgmt. I Gottin enuf trouble for one day.
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Just keep up the good work, Grapho.
What's up with Paris anyway?
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JUST IN "Past Paris just a preview"Extract: Still shell-shocked by images from Paris' first tape, Hilton fans are hoping the new ones will stay out of circulation.Are we "shell-shocked" Heirheads? http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/09/30/1096401696450.html?oneclick=true10 hours of footage, Wannabes. This isn't a leak. It's a flood. It's enough to keep us going for a long, long time.
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It's enough to keep us going for a long, long time.The Carpals will be pleased, Grapho. I know I am. Traffic to the forum is way up * since we launched "Confessions of an Heirhead". It's OK to say "we", isn't it? "themgmt" helped you thru some rough patches, wouldn't you say? * So far, they're just lurkin'. You could say the lurks are coming for the leaks.
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the lurks are coming for the leaksI'm sure they'll want to sign up, themgmt. They're our kind of people. Maybe if we could get ourselves banned, we could make our own Heirhead headlines all over the world. I can see the story now: AWAD hits the Heirwaves - Carpal Tunnels can't put up with Paris putting out
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re AWAD hits the Heirwaves: "Maybe we can get ourselves banned"
Sounds like a good idea, Grapho. I'll take it up with the Carps.
Maybe we can get the Big Carp himself to go postal on CNN.
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Maybe we can get the Big Carp himself to go postal on CNNSee if you can get him to go postal right here. That would be a good start.
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re the Big Carp
The Big Carp says it's a load of crap, but he'll do it if he gets to read some of his own material on the Heirwaves.
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he'll do it if he gets to read some of his own material on the HeirwavesTell him no-one wants to hear that crap ... unless he does it raving. [He needs to be prepped for this appearance. ]
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unless he does it ravingBrilliant, Grapho. It gives a whole new meaning to "Rave Reviews". It could be the next reality TV blockbuster. Bigger than "The Simple Life" if we could get Paris to play opposite the Big Carp! BTW the Big Carp is working up a big rave already.
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BTW the Big Carp is working up a big rave alreadyGood. He's a natural talent. re the Big Carp and Paris. Genius. Pure genius! But the Big Carp will have to do all his takes without Paris. We can image her in later. I don't want the Big Carp to lose his focus. His rave could turn into a twitter. [He might even end up losing his rants. ]
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re the Big Carp is working up a big rave already: "Good. He's a natural talent."
The Big Carp is about ready to make an unscheduled appearance on "Confessions of an Heirhead", Grapho.
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The Big Carp is about ready to make an unscheduled appearanceExcellent. We can use the laughs.
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re unscheduled appearance
Is this wise, Grapho? We don't want him to peak too early.
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re "We don't want him to peak too early"Wait'll he sees Paris. [It's hard to keep 'em down on the farm, once they have seen Paree.  ]
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re peaking too early
I think we ought to husband his rave, Grapho. I want to save his best stuff for Barbara Walters.
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I want to save his best stuff for Barbara Walters
I see what you mean, themgmt. But we really could use the filler. Paris isn't putting out a lot today.
Do you really think the Big Carp is right for Barbara? I was thinking Jerry Springer.
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Good morning, Wannabes. It's a slow news day [so far] so we'd like to take you on a little trip down memory lane while Paris rests up for her next red-hot romp on the Heirwaves. Call it an slight heirgression! And, don't forget, we could have a special surprise for you any minute. The BIG CARP himself could be joining us "live". That's right, Wannabes. He's just like the mountain you've been hearing about on TV. You never know when he's going to blow his top. So far the Big Carp is just venting steam. But the magma is cracking up his composure, believe me. So STAY TUNED. Did you know that magma on the move can blow a rock a foot long 3 miles over ground? That's true! This thread is being monitored by Carpal Tunnels so we won't make any explicit comparisons with Paris. But, suffice it to say, Paris can blow your mind as well as your, er, imagination. Here's a reminder, Carpalheads ... just in case your lurkin'. http://www.platinum-celebs.com/models-pictures/paris_hilton/paris_hilton_pictures_02.htmlAnd, if that isn't enough to keep you standing by, themgmt could be dropping by any time to give us the latest seismic data on the Big Carp. We went to "Stage 3" alert when the Big "Cap" went into "harmonic tremors" yesterday afternoon, but he's settled down some since them. But it's just a matter of time, Heirheads. This "Cap" is gonna blow. themgmt is on this 24/7.
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Did you know that magma on the move can blow a rock a foot long 3 miles over ground? That's true! JUST IN Mt. St. Helens Lets Off More Steam
Emissions Follow Days of Tremors and EarthquakesExtract: MOUNT ST. HELENS NATIONAL MONUMENT, Wash. -- Mount St. Helens belched more steam Monday following several days of tremors and low-level earthquakes that have raised fears that the mountain might blow at any moment.http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A5914-2004Oct4.htmlThere's a whole lot of quakin' goin' on!
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Oops! Paris has just uncovered her ugly side.We have always said Paris should be seen and not heard, Heirheads ... and the less she is seen in, the better. This could put a damper on that Guess Girl opp. It could kill the haute faux frau line, the haute faux heirhead jewelery, and even Club Paris. There isn't a big market out there for celebutante racists. Heirrogance is one thing. Heiracism another.We thought all that haughty hottie, hautepreneurial heiress stuff was a lot of "haute air" anyway. Remember? Now we can get back to basics! We've got 12 hours of Paris sex tapes to look forward to. [That'll keep the leaks leakin' and 'the lurks' peekin', trust me. ] JUST IN A sorry tale of Hilton's latest tapeExtract: Paris Hilton has two faces - and one of them is very, very ugly.
In a recently surfaced 12-hour videotape, Hilton is shown in a rather disturbing scene with two African-American men who ask her if she would model their fashion line."
Hilton, standing with pal Brandon Davis, is polite to the men, but calls them "dumb n--s" after they leave, according to British reporter Carole Aye Maung, who reviewed the tape.http://nydailynews.com/front/story/237174p-203602c.htmlParis Hilton's red-hot rocket to the moon has just cratered. It's a classic study of haute faux heirhead hubris, Wannabes. From the sublime to the perdiculous in the wink of an eye. Last week Paris was "demi-pornographic". Now's she's just "pornographic". And that's the Paris we love best!
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We've got 12 hours of Paris sex tapes to look forward to. [That'll keep the leaks leakin' and 'the lurks' peekin', trust me. ]Keep up the good work, Grapho. The Carps may complain about "the pricks", but they can't argue with "the clicks". As far as I'm concerned, you're one of us now, Grapho. All those "pinpricks" are just "male bonding", as ASp would say.
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As far as I'm concerned, you're one of us now, Grapho.
Gee, thanks, themgmt. That's all I ever wanted ... to be accepted as one of "the Carps".
Does this mean I get to visit the Carpal Tunnel Temple?
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Does this mean I get to visit the Carpal Tunnel Temple?You've got it, Grapho! You even get to sit next to the Big Carp Himself.
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You even get to sit next to the Big Carp Himself.I feel like I've been Carpal Tunnelized. 
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