I will write something witty, wise, and profound

I am reminded of the story told in A Child's Garden of Grass. It wasn't told about being drunk, but the principle's the same:

A certain fellow had a habit of waking up the morning after a good drunk remembering that he had understood the Secret of the Universe, but he could never quite remember it in the morning. One night, as he was polishing off a bottle of half-way decent Scotch, the Secret came to him and he wrote it down on a note pad he had left for this very purpose. The next morning he remembered that he had written the Secret down and, what is more important, he remembered where the note pad was. He hurried off the sofa, got the note pad and read the momentous words:

Something smells funny in here.