I first hoped that spontaneous human combustion was a reality when I was taken to watch "The Sound of Music" at our local fleapit. I hadn't heard of the phenomenon at that point, of course, but even at such a tender age I instinctively understood the urgent need for it or for something very much like it as soon as I heard "Climb Every Mountain" for the first time. Dreadful!

Since then, my sights have broadened. I have this little black book with a list of people I believe the world would be much better off without. Since I'm neither a murderer nor a supporter of capital punishment, plus I think that suicide is the sissy's way out of your problems, there's only route left, isn't there?