All writers of computer malware
Who infect our systems with worms,
Shall write infinite programmes
On ’puters with no RAMS
For fictional software firms.
For the nerd, freak or anorak, driving us crazy,
Our punishment is quite noble:
With a screen that’s blue,
And a keyboard askew,
To write hacking progammes in COBOL


My object all sublime etc etc ...

(apologies to W.S.Gilbert)