In keeping with this theme, it occurs to me that their telephones ought be so wired as to disconnect without notice several times during every conversation, their televisions to flip to another channel in the middle of the movie and refuse to flip back, their showers to switch from hot to cold and back again without pattern nor warning, their cars to wander off in the night so as to be lost by morning, their salt to turn sweet and their sugar to turn salty and all their chocolate to have laxative effect. And that's just for first offenders.

Great ideas, all of them. Let's hope they all appear before your bench.