"epicaricraticic" won't fly. One of the early dictionaries gives spelling "epicarikaky" so your
adjective is cacky.

I didn't get "epicaricatic" out of any dictionary, wwh. I got it from our own Capfka - 2nd post in this thread:

"The traffic on the M6 moved past the accident scene at an epicaricatic crawl ..."

An "epicaricatic crawl" sounds pretty good to me even if it is not recognized in any dictionary.

If we can have a 'peripatetic crawl' (aka as a "pub crawl"), why not an "epicaricatic crawl"?