Huh! Years ago a miniature poodle called Deano, with whom I had a running feud for many moons, managed to get around my not-quite-vigilant-enough guard and mated with our German shepherd bitch, Elsie. The result? B-i-i-i-i-i-g poodles. To get them good homes, we advertised them as Polsatians. And it worked: Bar one, they were all gone within a week. I have always maintained that my father loaned Deano a stepladder. The thing I've never managed to work out is how Deano bribed my father ... or what with!