My dear James,

I welcome you to the lake of cool water for your parched state of mind, my friend. Float around and relax a while,
why don't you?

My first thought upon reading your post was that, through only trying to do the right thing, you are probably quite
unpopular at your place of work! My sympathies.

I, for one, am very put off if I call somewhere and am greeted by someone who can't be bothered to learn to use correct language.