#73643
06/20/2002 4:00 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 833 |
My high school English teacher, way back when, started us on a great game once - you have Tom say something, and tack on an adverb that relates more to Tom's sentence than to the way he said it. Eg:
"I can't find the apples I bought in the market," said Tom fruitlessly.
"I can beat anyone at Scrabble," said Tom winningly.
"I've eaten enough of these bitter herbs," said Tom ruefully.
"This knife is like a razor," said Tom sharply.
Anyone else wanna have a go?!
A few the teacher gave us were quite rude...."I see nothing wrong with homosexuality," said Tom in ernest [sic]; and "I'm a fan of necrophilia," said Tom in dead ernest. The first one can also be changed to, "I haven't made up my mind about homosexuality," said Tom, half in ernest[sic].
Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73644
06/20/2002 2:15 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 833 |
oooohhhhhkaaaaaay! Someone has kindly brought to light an old thread about this (I YARTed again! - but it was quite an old thread - about a year old). See "Tom Swifties" in Misc.
However, I do wish someone would explain some of those contributions to me.....Some of them were either very cunning, as cunning as a very cunning fox who has just been appointed professor of cunning at cunning university, or they are actually not Tom Swifties in the true sense (ie, the adverb doesn't play on the content of the sentence). Such wordies here - I'm pretty sure it ain't the latter - although one person, can't remember who, was consistently confusing with his/her offerings, so maybe that person didn't get it? or maybe that person is just too deep for me....!
Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73645
06/20/2002 5:31 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 39
newbie
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newbie
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We'll go in my rocket ship, said Tom swiftly.
I used to read all the Tom Swift books I could get my hands on. Did you know there were three generations of Tom Swifts?
Robert
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#73646
06/21/2002 12:55 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 833 |
We'll go in my rocket ship, said Tom swiftly.
Shouldn't that be:
We'll go in my rocket ship, said Major Tom swiftly (to ground control, of course).
Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73647
06/21/2002 1:08 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2 |
Lots of very clever poeple have worked out some Very Clever Tom Swifties. Maybe a New York Magazine contest, or possibly Games Magazine five or ten years ago, in which case they may be copyrighted, but they sparkled. The only one I can recall at the moment went something like
"I really don't care who stole the flower from my bouquet," said Tom lackadaisically...
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#73648
06/21/2002 2:14 AM
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 320
enthusiast
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enthusiast
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"I'd like you to meet my Siamese-twin brother," said Tom half-heartedly.
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#73649
06/21/2002 10:44 AM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346
veteran
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veteran
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Posts: 1,346 |
an old thread about thisHere it is, MG: http://wordsmith.org/board/showthreaded.pl?Cat=&Board=miscellany&Number=19605Some blinders in this new thread, though, folks.  Much scope for the slightly surreal, which is right up my street.. "I'm taking today off" said Tom, absently. "HO HO HO!" said Tom, presently.  "ylevitcelfer, moT dias" said Tom, reflectively. "That's all folks!" said Tom, presciently.
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#73650
06/21/2002 3:27 PM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
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Fish, I am confused - and some posts in t'other Swiftlies thread confused me, too.
I thought the point of the exercise was that the adverb didn't necessarily convey the meaning of what Tom said? so to my mind, a better sentence for
"ylevitcelfer, moT dias" said Tom, reflectively.
would be something like
"This mirror needs a good cleaning," said Tom, reflectively.
Or am I way out to lunch? For presently, I would have had something like, "Aunt Mae gave me socks for Christmas again," said Tom presently.
"Will someone please help my poor fuddled brain out here?" said Mary, mentally.
Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73651
06/21/2002 3:50 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346
veteran
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Or am I way out to lunch? I think it's vastly more likely that I'm missing the point of the exercise, MG! Just having fun, really, and perhaps bending the rules to fit my purposes.
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#73652
06/21/2002 4:02 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 39
newbie
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newbie
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Posts: 39 |
I'm afraid I don't know the rules, said Robert ruefully. (Ok, that was lame!) I didn't figure out what adding "Major" did to improve the one I posted either, so clearly I need to be enlightened, said Robert darkly.  Robert
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#73653
06/22/2002 2:13 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
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I may be little, but not too little to get a ride from a passing motorist, said Tom, Thumbing.
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#73654
06/23/2002 7:26 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 184
member
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member
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#73655
06/23/2002 9:52 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 819 |
I wish I were taller, said Ewein longingly
OK, come down to my dungeon and I'll put you on the rack, and I'll make you six feet tall, Geoff said, pulling ewein's leg.
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#73656
06/24/2002 9:19 AM
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 148
member
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member
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Posts: 148 |
Don't worry, Robert - adding 'Major' makes it the Major Tom in David Bowie's song 'Space oddity', which is a very cool song but not much to do with adverbs! (Nothing against what you wrote, MG - i thought it was clever - just clearing it up!)
I'm off to work, said Tom playfully
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#73657
06/24/2002 10:00 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2 |
I lost my lawsuit, said Tom plaintively...
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#73658
06/24/2002 3:05 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I won't say this again, Tom said yartingly!  I won't say this again, Tom said again, redundantly. I won't feel sad, Tom said mournfully. I won't get wet, Tom said drenchingly. I won't bogart this thread, Tom said hoggishly. I love you, Tom said heartfully.
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#73659
06/24/2002 5:07 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 32
newbie
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newbie
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Posts: 32 |
"My lightbulb burnt out," Tom said dimly.
Hows that?
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#73660
06/24/2002 6:24 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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#73661
06/24/2002 6:50 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 32
newbie
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newbie
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Tom said nothing, dumbly.
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#73662
06/25/2002 1:16 AM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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#73663
06/25/2002 5:09 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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Hee hee! I leave the compuker off all weekend and come back to such a lot of fun! but sorry to say I still don't understand/get the point of some of these? I'm going to pick on ewein for an example (sorry honey! you know I love you!). She said: I wish I were taller, said Ewein longingly!For this to be a Tom Swiftly (Swifty? now I'm even confused about the name of this game! is there an "l" or isn't there?), I would have said it should be: I wish I were taller, said Ewein shortly.Perhaps "longingly" could be used thusly: "I didn't mean to look down on you," said Wilt Chamberlain, longingly. (or maybe that's a stretch.... ) but I think Geoff's response was entirely a propos! Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73664
06/25/2002 5:17 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
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"This tourniquet should stop the bleeding," said Tom staunchly. "I'm going to write a note to my mother," said Tom malignly. (get it? get it?! ma + lign - or line - get it, get it get it get it??!!) "I hate working late at night," said Tom shiftily. "My baby done lef' me," said Tom, Gracelessly. "Even Stalin had his moments," said Tom, dictatorially. "The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind," sang Tom, breezily. "We talked until two in the morning," said Tom, conversationally. "Is it possible for a camel to go through the eye of a needle?" asked Tom narrowly. "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" asked Tom minutely (or minuetly!). "I should not have stood in front of that car," said Tom - pilfering tiredly from another thread. "I should not have stood behind that car, either," said Tom exhaustedly.  Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73665
06/25/2002 8:53 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 6,296 |
"I should not have stood behind that car, either," said Tom exhaustedly.
The above quote is quite appropriate, methinks, for one named MG! "Tornado watch in Chesterfield County until 6:00 p.m." said the meteorologist, windily.
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#73666
06/25/2002 1:33 PM
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679
addict
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addict
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 679 |
"I can't dance", said Michael, flatly.
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#73667
06/25/2002 2:52 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346 |
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#73668
06/25/2002 2:59 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 6,296
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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"I lost my cool," Tom said heatedly.
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#73669
06/25/2002 8:24 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2 |
I lost my lawsuit, said Tom plaintively...
"I lost my suit" said Tom, casually.
You'll have to speak louder. Since I lost my suit, I can barely hear you!
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#73670
06/25/2002 8:35 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
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"I told you that wasn't wheat, but would you listen? Noooo!" said Tom scornfully.
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#73671
06/25/2002 8:43 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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"Didn't I tell you to wear well-fitted shoes and socks when you run the Marathon?" said Tom blisteringly.
or
"Now look what's happened. Didn't I tell you not to attempt to decode those messages by yourself?" said Tom blisteringly.
or
"Never did find out what the coded messages said, did you?" said Tim enigmatically.
and
"I just ran a load of contraband past the border guards!" said Tom smugly.
(Edit: someone should have fun with "automatically," too - alluding to the car, or even to the restaurant that opened the door and gave food when you put nickels in the slot. Haven't time to do it myself at the moment, unfortunately.)
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#73672
06/26/2002 1:00 AM
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 833
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 833 |
"I never could get the hang of driving stick shift," said Tom automatically. (thanks wofa!)
"Madame Garbanzo wasn't in her tent when I went to have my palm read," said Tom, unfortunately. (okay, it's a bit of a stretch!)
Let us go in peace to love and serve the board.
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#73673
06/26/2002 2:00 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,605 |
"Anchovies, anyone?" asked Tom with baited breath.
"Where's Rhubarb Commando?" asked Tom hilariously.
"He's with wwh," Tom answered himself biliously.
"I've invented a quick-release brassiere," said Tom fastidiously.
"Who won the World Cup?" asked Tom jocularly.
"I saw the Venus de Milo in Paris," said Tom disarmingly.
"Here's a picture of Mt. St. Helens," Tom gushed explosively.
[Immediate edit:]
"I just won the lottery again," Tom admitted reluctantly.
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#73674
06/26/2002 2:47 AM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 5,400 |
My oh my, you have been hard at work!
Three tricks in one post
Trick 2- the double standard
Trick 5, the best defense is a good offence!
trick 6- the sexual slur
Did you think we wouldn't notice? We are not as stupid as that. In the past we were kinder, but now, we know, you use posters on-line or real names, in insulting ways, and think we are not going to notice. Just another example of your double standards at work. throw in a sexual slur, and and all of it trick 5, on the offensive again.
[Immediate edit:]
"I just won the lottery again," Tom admitted reluctantly.
No, i'm afraid not. we see these for what they are, ugliness that you are spreading, with each and every thing you post.. we are not fooled.
Go away. You are not wanted, she said, definitively.
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#73675
06/26/2002 11:36 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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as inspired by Dub-Dub:
"Yow! What a terrible toothache!" said Tom insidentally.
[and to his dentist:]
"Please, drill it now," begged Tom coinsidentally.
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#73676
06/26/2002 1:08 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Keiva: you are unwelcome in AWADtalk.
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#73677
06/26/2002 7:30 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,891 |
The person known as Keiva, who recently posted on this thread, was banned for flaming. He forced his way back into this forum by implied threats of legal action against Anu Garg, the founder of AWAD. This same person has also been known to post under the names AphonicRants, KeivaCarpal.
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#73678
06/27/2002 11:49 AM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 32
newbie
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newbie
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Posts: 32 |
Everytime you do this you make the situation worse.
Imagine the people who are coming in here for the first time who see this. They won't come back.
:(
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#73679
06/28/2002 6:36 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 2,605 |
'oh no ... archie and i can't make any upper case letters on this keyboard,' said tom shiftlessly.
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#73680
06/28/2002 7:06 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 13,858 |
Keiva: Your continuing to post is contemptible, in that you
used extortion to get a well justified ban overturned.
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#73681
06/28/2002 8:46 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,072 Likes: 2 |
I think the point of a Tom Swifty is that the adverb does double-duty. On the one hand it depicts a state of mind or emotion appropriate for the phrase described, and at the same time it somehow also touches on the subject itself. Thus in
"I really don't care who stole the flower from my bouquet," said Tom lackadaisically
"lackadaisically" implies not caring, and at the same time, the stolen flower means Tom is now lacking a daisy. Or in
I lost my lawsuit, said Tom plaintively
losing a lawsuit makes one sad and therefore merits a plaintive comment, after filing it has made one a plaintiff.
Just any old appropriate adverb won't do; there should be some wordplay, too.
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#73682
06/28/2002 9:04 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,346
veteran
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veteran
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Posts: 1,346 |
On the one hand it depicts a state of mind or emotion appropriate for the phrase described, and at the same time it somehow also touches on the subject itself.Excellently described wofa. Ta. Sadly my batch of TSws didn't really fit the bill, though I enjoyed doing 'em "Could do better"
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