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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 39
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OP
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Maybe I should put this here. Few may see it where I posted first (over in Information and Announcements), and I think it's funny...
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT!
University physicists have recently discovered the heaviest element known to science. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 15 assistant neutrons, 70 vice-neutrons, and 161 assistant vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mess (sic) of 247. These 247 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium added to one reaction caused it to take over four days to complete. Without the Administratium the reaction occurred in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies seem to show the atomic number actually increasing after each reorganization.
Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and bed rest after even low levels of exposure.
I'm sorry I don't know who penned this...
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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University physicists have recently discovered
Administerium is particularly prevalent in universities. It would have been long since discovered, but of course its mere presence slowed the discovery process to a near standstill.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 184
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Joined: Apr 2002
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OP
newbie
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 39 |
Hopefully you are not about to disrobe online!
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 688
addict
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Literally, some of them needed a pencil and paper to calculate: The patient needs 500 mg. Each pill contains 250 mg. How many pills will you give?  That is a really scary thought! It's like the kids who work at a fast food place. Your bill is $9.27 and you hand him a $10.00 and while you are digging for two pennies, they punch in just the $10.00 and insist giving you $.73 change because that's what the machine says to give you. Tried handing the kid the two pennies one time and he had no idea why! 
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Ahhh, no, my friend. That would be disdressing! Ahhh, no, my dear. That would be a-peeling. 
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 39
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 39 |
Right! You try to make it easy on both of you, and suddenly the problem is hard! I suppose this one is too old to be of interest, but...
Do you know what the communications major said to the math major?
(I'm sorry if I might have seen a version of this somewhere in AWADtalk... I don't remember...)
Robert
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Joined: Feb 2002
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Feb 2002
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Do you know what the communications major said to the math major?ungghhh.....Racking (wracking? help!) my brain here and just cain't come up with a thing. Please don't keep me in suspense! Do you like Kipling? I don't know, I've never kippled. 
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Would you like fries with that sir/ma'am?
(Definitely don't give him a five and two pennies to pay a $4.52 bill!)
Robert
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