Geoff's deliciously horrible Brewster the Rooster pun reminds me of another (merely because both are word plays!):
The office supervisor was having a terrible time with a decision that had been handed down to him by his superior. Because of downsizing, he had to lay off one of his two data processors. He had to choose between Jack and Linda, and because both did such great work, he just couldn't decide which. Finally he made up his mind - to leave it to fate. The dirty deed had to be done on Monday, so whichever of the two of them went to the water cooler first was the one that would have to go. It was arbitrary but it was the best he could come up with.
Monday morning rolled around, and Linda got to work before Jack. She looked terrible, like she'd really partied hard over the weekend, and yup, there she went to the water cooler for a little rehydration. The supervisor walked up to her and said, "Linda, I'm really sorry, but I'm faced with a difficult decision. I have to lay you or Jack off."
Linda replied, "Then would you please jack off, I've got a terrible headache."
