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Several subscribers out there are writers, I know, at least in desire if not publication.  I thought perhaps people would enjoy sharing some favorite similes that have been composed, or just read somewhere.  I hate to start a thread with no example, but for the life of me nothing comes to mind.
 
 
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#4545
07/30/2000 12:20 PM
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Jacqui dearest, I am concerned about your desire to start a thread without fulfilling your full responsibilities as The Initiator. Perhaps this is a case of "The Web That Has No Weaver"?
 Rgds, sakezuki lusy
 
 
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Ok, you've shamed me into an attempt.Pet names are to my heart as soft rain to wilting flowers.
 
 
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Joined:  Jun 2000 Posts: 724 old hand |  
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Jackie -  THAT is sheer Poetry! May all the similes hide their faces in shame.
 
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#4548
07/31/2000 11:08 AM
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| Carpal Tunnel Joined:  Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 | 
I am honored, Avy.  Thank you.
 
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#4549
07/31/2000 12:00 PM
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<Pet names>
 which reminds me …
 
 The new bloke in town was in his local pub when he met a shearer on leave.  "I've got some sheep ready to be shorn", he said, "Can I get you to do them?"
 
 "Sure", said the shearer, "How many have you got?"
 
 "Four", said the new bloke and, after a very long silence, the shearer said quietly: "And what are their names?"
 
 I'm going away for a few days soon to get all this 'sheep' nonsense out of my system.
 
 
 
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#4550
07/31/2000 10:14 PM
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here's one:
 profanity flows forth from his mouth like cool, freshly melted snow from a spring.
 
 
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#4551
08/13/2000 10:31 AM
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tactful as an elephant in hobnail boots.
 Also, not original, but I have always loved both
 'as much use as a chocolate teapot' and
 'as much chance as a snowflake in hell'.
 
 BTW, what is the derivation of the much more common 'hasn't got a cat in hell's chance'?  Just why should cats fare so very badly in hell?
 
 
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#4552
08/13/2000 11:42 AM
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>>tactful as an elephant in hobnail boots.
 Gee, that's me at times!  But I've never heard the
 cat-in-hell one!  Sounds catty-wampus to me.
 
 
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While not a simile, I have always been very fond of the phrase "It was raining hammer handles."
 
 
 TEd
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Ted, I always heard it as "pitchforks and hammer handles".Regional diff., probably.
 
 
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gee, and I always though it was just cats and dogs. . .
 
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It's raining cats and dogs and pitchforks and assorted frogs...
 
 oops, wrong thread.
 
 
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Originally, I must have read it on wall, somewhere, and it stuck in my mind, contrary to most other things:"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle"
 
 
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and speaking of writing on walls...
 Hell hath no Fury like a Plymouth
 
 
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>Hell hath no Fury like a Plymouth
 Why this reminded me, I have no idea, but I did hear about the time Sherlock Holmes caught the man-eating Japanese car, which asked Holmes how he had figured out who it was.  Sherlock responded, of course, "Elementary, my were-Datsun."
 
 
 
 TEd
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"Elementary, my were-Datsun."
 under the circumstances, shouldn't that read "alimentary"?
 
 
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This beautiful simile is from Yeats :
 "Like a long-legged fly upon the stream
 His mind moves upon silence."
 
 I guess examples like these could go to disprove the idea -
 the simile is the creatively challenged cousin of the Metaphor.
 
 
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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle"
 Isn't this usually the other way round?  'A woman without a man...'  I can't for the life of me remember who said it - maybe Gloria Steinem?
 
 
 
 
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>and speaking of writing on walls...<
 I always liked:
 
 les noms des fous
 sont ecrits partout
 
 (the names of fools are written everywhere)
 
 
 
 
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There was a series of badges (buttons) in the eighties including:
 "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"
 and
 "A woman needs a man like a moose needs a hatrack"
 (I assume the latter was American as we don't really have moose, only deer.)
 
 
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this was my favourite way to begin an essay at school:
 "businesses, like pizzas, come in three sizes; big, medium and small."
 
 this invariably got me a good mark, possibly because the teacher could easily understand it.
 by the way (BTW) you can substitute just about anything for "businesses".
 
 
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Joined:  May 2000 Posts: 5 stranger
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One  simile I only ever heard used by my grandmother and my mother both of whom alas no longer with us..
 in describing a thin person... straight up and down like a yard of pumpwater
 
 
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Joined:  Sep 2000 Posts: 6 stranger
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Not original, and not exactly a simile, but catchy:
 "Benetton's ads using deathrow inmates are very well-executed."
 
 "He now stands squarely in the president's inner circle."
 
 "This deadlock has life in it yet."
 
 I readily add that I am not prepared to offer any similes.
 
 
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not exactly a simile, but catchy:
 That phrase reminded me of one of the most descriptive sentences in the Hitch-Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy, one that has always been a favourite of mine: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
 
 
 
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moving at the speed of a pregnant snail
 
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Or the scholar's favourite: a virgin field pregnant with possibilities.
 Bingley
 
 Bingley
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#4571
09/12/2000 10:52 AM
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<"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle">
 Bridget, there's an article in today's Melbourne Age [from the Telegraph, London] about Gloria Steinem which attributes the maxim to her in the form "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".  It seems pretty tame stuff to some of the vitriol being squirted among feuding feminists (according to the article): "an imploding beanbag of poisonous self-pity" and "infirmary feminism … a catch-all vegetable drawer where bunches of clingy sob-sisters can store their mouldy neuroses".
 
 
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an article in today's Melbourne Age [from the Telegraph, London] about Gloria Steinem which attributes the maxim to her in the form "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". It seems pretty tame stuff to some of the vitriol being squirted among feuding feminists (according to the article): "an imploding beanbag of poisonous self-pity" and "infirmary feminism … a catch-all vegetable drawer where bunches of clingy sob-sisters can store their mouldy neuroses". <
 Ah.  Not sure whether I should be grateful to you or not for pointing out my apparent common ground with the Torygraph!  However, the quotes sound much as I would expect from this particular newspaper!
 (Whoops - politics!  No offence intended to anyone!)
 
 
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>apparent common ground with the Torygraph
 Sound's like you might prefer the Grauniad! I've posted a list of British newspapers in "Politics and the Press" in case anyone is wondering what we are talking about.
 
 I found this explanation for "Grauniad" (or is it just another urban legend?): A while ago, the Guardian (which had not long ceased being the Manchester Guardian) was printing in London as well, but was having operational difficulties that meant that, as I understand it, all the text of the paper had to be re-keyed a second time, in a hurry. As a consequence, it became a by-word for typos. One day, they printed their own name as "Grauniad" in a classified ad. Private Eye took this up with amusement and has been referring to the organ as "Grauniad" ever since. -Ian Phillipps, Brass Band mailing list
 
 
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"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".
 This week's Time magazine has a blurb mentioning Gloria Steinem.  She's getting married.  I guess she doesn't conform to her own sayings.
 
 
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"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle".
 This week's Time magazine has a blurb mentioning Gloria Steinem. She's getting married. I guess she doesn't conform to her own sayings.
 
 Or, like so many of us, she spends a lot of time wanting (and chasing after) things she doesn't need...
 
 
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>she spends a lot of time wanting (and chasing after) things she doesn't need...<
 Hi Bridget,
 
 Great! I think this  is the original deep meaning of the phrase about the fish and the bicycle. Things that are needed cannot be the subject of fancy dreams.
 
 
 
 
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| Carpal Tunnel Joined:  Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 | 
Oh boy, this thread sure has turned a couple of corners!  I love this place!
 
 Now--wsieber, Dearest, I have to say that there are some people, including right here in the U.S.--indeed, even
 my own state--for whom the necessities are dreams.
 
 And, Bridget, I think that first, those of us who have the
 luxury of chasing after things we don't need should count
 our blessings.
 
 But also--I am very thankful that we live in a time and place where hunting and chasing are more usually done in fun, such as a guy sneaking up and grabbing his girlfriend
 up off the floor, then carries her off for a screaming walk
 around the room.  Most of our hunting and chasing now have
 far less serious consequences than civilization did hundreds and thousands of years ago.
 
 
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Joined:  Jul 2000 Posts: 1,094 old hand |  
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What's this talk her quote being an analogy for chasing after your dream?  Since when do fish yearn for and chase after bicycles?
 
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Since when do fish yearn for and chase after bicycles?Can you prove  that they don't?   |  |  |  
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Joined:  Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 Carpal Tunnel |  
| Carpal Tunnel Joined:  Mar 2000 Posts: 11,613 | 
What's this talk her quote being an analogy for chasing after your dream?
 After some creative interpretation, I think I understand
 your question.  He didn't say it was an analogy.  It seemed
 to me that he was taking the well-precedented license of
 nudging the thread around a bend.
 
 
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>taking the well-precedented license of nudging the thread around a bend<You almost made it..I actually bent the thread around a .. nudge.
 
 
 
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Joined:  Sep 2000 Posts: 4,757 Carpal Tunnel |  
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> Can you prove that they don't? 
 The last fish I spoke to had no revolutionary tendencies.
 
 
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Joined:  Mar 2000 Posts: 1,027 old hand |  
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>Since when do fish yearn for and chase after bicycles?< Amsterdam is known for its channels ("grachten") criss-crossing the city. Every year people throw hundreds of bikes into the channels. Why should the serious-minded Dutch do such a thing if not to cater for the need  of their fish   ? |  |  |  
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