#50706
12/24/2001 3:25 AM
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye Fokes! How is things? Haven't been around fer a while. Ya see, I gots a job writen articals on drains and gargoyles and that sorta thing. Imagine me worken fer the Gutter Press - me Mammy is really proud.
Listen, on a more seroius note, did ye know that Santy is short of teddies this year? Well, ye do now!
After a tip off from Goldilocks didn't he orgenise a big huge raid on Slasher's - me local bar - ta round up all the teddies. I'll tell ya, the fight what enscewed was only terrable and ya can take it from Ted that that Rudolf fella won't be the only raindeer with a red nose this Christmas.
Anyways, lookily most of us managed ta escape but me pal MadDogTed is still missen. So I thought with it been Christmas and all that I better give ye all a fear warnen.
If MadDogTed ends up in yer Christmas stocken send him straight back ta Slashers Bar - IMMEDIATELY. He's a rear genwine Streiff bear and he's not very domistikated, ya see. Don't try ta hug him. Don't put a silly bow on him. Don't call him MadDogTed ta his face and whatever ya do - DON'T take him ta bed with ya. Not if ya have any shame, that is.
Don't be fooled by his cute looks either (he's not half as cute as Ted, of course). Them close-set eyes are a ded give away but if yer still in doubt check his left ear fer a button earing in the shape of a half eaten S. If yer still not sure, look fer the "Made in Haste" label on his back. And if yer a bit thick and still haven't copped on, check that ya still have all yer fingers and that yer wallet is still where ya left it.
So ye have been warned - if ya get him from Santy send him back ta Slasher's with a few bottles of rum fer me troubles. I'll tell ye, me nerves are faught with the worry.
A Happy Christmas ta ye now.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
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#50707
12/24/2001 2:26 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear GallantTed: How does one recognize a Streiff bear?
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#50708
12/24/2001 3:30 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
ARGHHHHHHHHH
Bill,
Don't you recognize a straight line?????
St. Reiff is gonna come down your chimney!!!
And you'll never hear the end of it from Ted the Two!!!
(Frankly, I can't wait )
TTF
TEd
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#50709
12/24/2001 5:01 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661 |
Dear G-Ted,
I think I've seen 'im.
One of the stealth blondes who hangs her sorrows over the edge of the oak at my local pub came in with a newbie last night, and she was lookin a bit star-crossed. He fits the description ya gave, 'cept the the earring looked a bit chewed on (she's been known to do that sort of thing).
He kept splittin up with her to drop a fiver into the cherry master, and after a few whacks he gave the face plate a punchin' that nearly facilitated it's own payout.
He'd keep goin back to her like a junkie... gulping shots of Powers... turning on the charm... I don't see much in them close-set eyes (as you put it), but apparently she does. It won't be long before she's tapped out cause somthin tells me he ain't the marryin' kind.
I'll check his label next time he's in... after I hide my wallet, that is.
Thanks for the warning.
Peace
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#50710
01/02/2002 9:21 PM
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Listen, I bet ye'll all be relieved ta learn that me frend MadDogTed has been located. It seems as if Santy off-loaded him on some little spacemen, who managed ta tame him a bit. Appartently, they're teachen him the art of Druidic Medicine. Imagine!
Anyways, MDTed said that he wants ta come home and heel the world. He said he'd even do a slot on me Forem. Can't wait meself.
So, ye can stop worryen now!
Be seein ye
GT
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#50711
01/03/2002 11:49 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Well, G-Ted, if it's the Druidic medicine he's after learning, at least it will give him some sole toe go with his heeling.
I just hope that he's being taught by the Arch-druid, if he really wishes to establish himself on a sound footing.
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#50712
01/03/2002 12:05 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Arch-druidMy Aunt is a druid?? 
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#50713
01/03/2002 12:17 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Do you mean you don't know whether or not your Aunt is a druid?
You could always give her a golden sickle and stand her near the mistletoe and see what happens.
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#50714
01/03/2002 12:26 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
golden sickle ? 'Splain, please--'fraid I'm not up on my Druid Hx.
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#50715
01/03/2002 8:14 PM
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye
Rhubarb - I'm sure he'll keep his finger on the pulse of the hole operation.
Jackie - Could ya ask yer Auntie Druid how I'm supposed ta address MDTed when he comes home. Is it Yer Druidship, Mr Druid, Dr Ted, Yer Physican, Sur or what?
Be seein ya
GallantTed
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#50716
12/24/2002 9:59 PM
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279
enthusiast
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enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 279 |
Howye fokes
Sorry I haven't been round much lately but I do be often thinken of ye all hear and I want ta wish ye a fiercely happy Christmas alltagather.
We're were all up fierce late last night, ye know. Ya see, with all the confusion and everythin what's been happenen, didn't we think that it was Christmas Eve and weren't we waiten up fer Santy - we wanted ta get him fer kidnappen MadDogTed last year.
Well, there we was like a pile of proper ejjits brandishen our hurley sticks around the place, waiten and waiten when Albear Camoo suddenly copped that it was the wrong date. We're all ragen, I'll tell ya - specially MadDogTed, what stayed sober specially fer the occasion. We're all goen back on the booze now, so Santy got a fierce looky repreeve - but I'll tell ya, we'll get him fer sure next year.
Be seein ya
GallantTed
PS - Santy if yer readen this I hope ya got our Christmas list. We've been fierce good bears all year..er..honest, like.
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#50717
12/24/2002 10:32 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
DON'T take him ta bed with ya. Not if ya have any shame, that is.
Hey Gallant,
This is milum. I ain't got no shame. Where is MadDog Ted. I don't wanna take him to bed with me, I'm lonely, I just wanna talk. Where's MadDog?
See ya,
Milum.
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#50718
12/24/2002 11:57 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
Heck, anyone with 20-20 vision can see him!
TEd
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#50719
12/25/2002 1:31 AM
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 20
stranger
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stranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 20 |
bear milum
i wos kibnabbeb dy santy last yer dut im allrite now
ur qlace r mine
madee u want 2 c me recorb collecshun
r jine me n sum t and couch
wink wink
luv
X
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#50720
12/25/2002 12:53 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
Dear Gallant Ted and JustPlain Ted, Hey! I heard from Maddog, sorta. You were right JustPlain, he's on the 20/20. Kinda fits. But hey, look at it this way, he's off the Ripple.  He told me he is currently studying the sub-culture of the downtrodden. Anyway he's invited me up to his crib to spin some discs on this new Hi-Fi that Santa brought. Naw, he's forgiven Santa, only hit him once. Maddog gets all lovey-dovey when he is mellow with good wine. I'm going to sing him a song... Button up your overcoat
Find a nice warm bed.
Take good care of yourself
You're my favorite Ted.Merry Christmasto all the Ted's of the World. Those of privilege (like Maddog) And those who sleep in a cardboard box. Milum.
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