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The local newspaper had an article this morning about church signs -- the large, often illuminated, signboards in front of churches on which they post clever sayings. It appears that there are internet sites where you can get these to save the trouble of making them up yourself, if you are the one in charge of the sign, and there is also a book coming out with a collection. Below are some which were quoted, which I thought might be found amusing. I don't offer them for their theological content.
God has not gone on vacation and left you in charge.
Where will you be spending eternity? Smoking or nonsmoking?
Don't give up -- Moses was a basket case too.
Lord, help me be the person my dog thinks I am.
God's last name is not "damn".
I don't doubt your existence. -- God
The newspaper article says that such signs are most commonly seen in the Bible Belt. Jackie, I think you are the only regular from this part of the country. Any contributions?
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Oh, mercy, yes, those kinds of things are all over the place! And of course I can't think of a single one, now. Will add as I pass by them and my memory is jogged. But...are you sure about that first one? I could have sworn He said... 
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Riding my Raleigh at 40mph down a long hill on my way to Harvard Square out of the corner of my eye in a split second I read a Church message that so succinctly stated one of my most treasured principles that I have never forgotten it, a quotation of a black educator of a hundred years ago whose name I regrettably cannot remember, but think was Booker T. Washington:
"Cheating is a confession of inferiority which I do not choose to make."
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Joined: Aug 2001
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I know that I pass at least a half dozen a day, and like others, cannot recollect a single one this morning. I'll report tomorrow.
Central Alabama is FULL of witty church signs.
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Cheesy sign
"Church is not complete without 'U' in it"
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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We laughed at all of the crazy church signs while we were travelling through the States, but like Jackie, I can't remember one now. They were all on the intellectually light side. Somewhere, we saw one sign which said, conventionally enough, "God Loves You", followed by one a few hundred yards down the road which said "Because He Has Said So" - or something like that, which neatly answered the snide "Says who?" muttered as you pass the first sign.
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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stranger
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stranger
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I'm afraid vandals provided the only humour I've heard of on church signs, with two separate amendments to the classic "Jesus saves!" sign.
The first is exceptionally old and cheesy and is included purely for completeness (that, and it makes the second one seem so much better by comparison)
"Jesus saves - he couldn't on my salary."
The second was allegedly spotted on a church near a football stadium...
"Jesus saves, but Maradona knocks it in from the rebound"
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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One this morning reminded us that:
"The best vitamin for a Christian is B 1."
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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The best vitamin for a Christian is B 1
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