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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 53
journeyman
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OP
journeyman
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 53 |
I have a new friend named Mickie in merry ole England who seems to be a jack-of-all trades....he can't keep a job for very long. The reasons vary......
He tried his hand at selling tripe........but found he hadn't the stomach for it.
He tried being a magician.....but only did it for a spell.
He wanted to be in Bomb Disposal.......but he blew it at the interview....
He applied to be a Professional Mourner......but cried off at the last minute.....
He was a fireman for awhile but was really put out when the station closed, and he got quite Inflamed about it. So they told him to go to blazes
He got a job as a mould maker.....but gave it up because he failed to make an impression.
He became an astronaut and opened a night club on the moon.....but quit because it didn't have any atmosphere.
Does anyone have other jobs to add?
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Well, I once knew a sculptor who made faces and bust.
And also a hairdresser who curled up and died.
The chap wishing to join the army stepped off on the wrong foot when he went to the navy recruiting office, and shouldn't have been surprised that they waved him good-bye.
When someone suggested that I write a book, I was lost for words!
But the success story was the man, made redundant from a high-powered job, who went on foot all round the town, finally getting a job as a postman. He reckoned it was better than walking the streets.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
I knew a hooker who drank too much water.
Eventually she didn't know whether she was coming or going.
TEd
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
knew a hooker who drank too much water.
Eventually she didn't know whether she was coming or going.
I wonder which her clientele preferred. What a sensation. Incidentally, males cannot urinate when sexually aroused. And some of my patients on Mellaril used to get upset to find that when they ejaculated, the sperm went backwards into bladder, to be passed later with urine. (old joke about the boy complaining to the girl -"You curdled my urine!")
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 131
member
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member
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 131 |
Dr Bill, this post goes into the annals of ' things I really didn't need to know '.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Lord Bacon took all knowledge to be his province. One never knows when an odd bit of knowledge may be useful. I have never had the option of declining any knowledge no matter how distasteful, and risked the ridicule of my colleagues if I were naive about any physiological phenomenon.
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
Dr Bill, the above is just one small example of the inappropriateness of many of the things you post here. As reommended elsewhere, could you please flag your posts with an appropriate subject so I'll know not to read them? Thanks.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
An apple a day... 
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 53
journeyman
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OP
journeyman
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 53 |
TOIL AND TROUBLE
I once had a job pouring orange juice in cans But I soon had to leave there, I guess it was fate The boss called me in and he said I was fired And the reason for this, I could not concentrate.
I then got a job in the Forest so great Where the work was demanding, we could not relax But I could not hack it, I soon was called in And they fired me again, I was given the ax.
A medical doctor, I finally became And I hung my diploma up high on the wall But soon I discovered this was not for me For I could not display any patients at all.
A chef I became just to spice up my life I baked pies of all flavors, some lemon, some lime, I soon left that job like the ones gone before I resented the fact I did not have the thyme.
At Starbucks I work putting coffee in cans It's a job I was lucky, so lucky to find But something tells me I won't last very long It's Monotonous, it's boring, the same daily grind.
By Jasper Cook
He thought he would try being a garbage collector, but got canned after the first week on the job.
He built houses for awhile, but quit because he couldn't handle all the constructive criticism.
He tried being a fireman, but he just couldn't take the heat.
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